Minor league playoffs talk

[John]

First, congratulations to the AAA Raleigh El Dorados (CST), who won a play-in game over the Worcester Saucers (LON). Worcester goes home while Raleigh meets top-seeded Beantown (GLO) in the first round.

The Borealis organization is lucky to be having its top three teams playing on into mid-September. In anticipation of the start of the Global Baseball Brotherhood (AAA), Great Northern League (AA) and North American Farm Team Affiliation (Hi-A) playoffs on Monday night, I figured I'd kick things off with a little smack talk for my opponents...

• GBB: The Glendale Skyelanders (REN) - Skyelanders, eh? Cool name, but I suggest a new one: The AARPs. Glendale is where old folk go to retire, so it's apropos that most everyone on the Skyelanders' roster is eligible to collect Social Security. You can tell their over the hill, too, because it seems they're on their last legs. With only 21 healthy bodies on the roster, Glendale is going to need to hire a really good community events coordinator to distract those that remain from the grim reminder of their own impending mortality.
• GNL: The Red Deer Kings (REN) - Pah, another Reno farm team? Actually, Red Deer looks better equipped to put up a fight than their AAA counterparts. António Chávez has been a lot better since being acquired from San Antonio and being bumped down a level. He's swiped 43 bags on the season. That's impressive for a leadoff hitter. Oh wait, Chávez isn't the team's leadoff hitter... he's their cleanup hitter. I'm supposed to be scared of a team whose cleanup hitter "boasts" a slugging percentage of .342 on the season? Please.
• NAFTA: The National City Bankers (PS) - There are so many reasons why I refuse to take this match-up seriously. First, Palm Springs is an organization helmed by Denny Hills, a noted crybaby and known Barry Manilow associate. National City has never qualified for the playoffs before; in fact, up until now the Bankers were most famous for sparking local protests thanks to the name of one of their players (side note: It's too bad that Sin Orji is out of baseball... now the picture and link point to the player page of Jacob Short, a name that's not nearly as fun or controversial). But most of all, I can't fear what I don't respect. And I simply don't respect a team sponsored by a company that assists telemarketers in taking advantage of the elderly. Shame on you, National City. And Hills: Grow a pair and quit hanging around Manilow.

[klewis]

Florida's AA Beaufort Loggerdoggers is scheduled to meet up with Gloucester's Narragansett Seagulls. Having made the playoffs every single year since the creation of PEBA, Beaufort is having its best year yet. With a .714 winning percentage percent, Beaufort will be having the Seagulls fly south in this match up.

Beaufort is simply a team of destiny. Luis Torres, Ronald Harmon, and Josh Gunter were all promoted to AAA. Despite losing 3 All-Star hitters, the beat still rolls on for Beaufort. The Loggerdoggers even lost one of their best pitchers to injury and that has not even faze the team. With 10-0 Sam Coates leading the way, it's going to be a quick series.

I have to admit though, the Seagulls have quite the formidable offense. They are lead by Joe Silver, who is batting .322 with 78 RBIs. Sadly, ex-Beaufort's own Harmon had 69 RBIs despite playing considerably less games due to promotion! The Seagulls better rely on their offense because the starting pitching will certainly not be helping much. With the exception of Salvador Díaz, every other starter in their rotation boasts a record under .500!

The only other stat I have to give is that Beaufort is 9-3 this season against the Seagulls. I think that speaks enough for itself.

[John]

Okay Red Deer, you guys were tough as I expected. Two and out for Gatineau. As for the rest of my teams - hoo-wah! Thornton sweeps undefeated into the Ambassador's Cup, where they'll take on the Beantown Browns (GLO), the Appalachian Mountain League leaders with a 86-54 record. Meanwhile San Luis Río Colorado looks to repeat as winners of the Free Trade Throwdown. They've still got work to do to get back to the championship, though. After dispatching the pathetic Bankers, they'll have to get past the Rosarito Monjas del Vuelo (WV). SLRC currently leads the series 1-0.

[Denny]

Pfft! Whatever.

[Ghosts]

We're calling out ( ) the "Frozen Bullies", our first round opponent in the SS-A playoffs.

They should be called the "Ancient Bullies" -- their "ace", who is 12-4 with a 1.43 ERA, is Steve Norris, a 25 year old who played in Arlington in 2007!

Boooooooooooooooooooo!