HEADLINE! READ ALL ABOUT IT! BODY OF ICE MAGNATE NOT FOUND IN YUMA ICE! DOLE STILL MISSING! December 18, 2033: Yuma, AZ—The Yuma County Medical Examiner announced today that the body found frozen in ice at the Yuma Water Refinery yesterday is not that of Charles Dole IV, missing Crystal Lake ice magnate. “Although we […]
December 18, 2033: Yuma, AZ—At today’s press conference, Yuma County Sheriff Leon X. Wilmar announced that police are trying to locate Taffy Slummings, owner of the Yuma Arroyos ball club. Anyone with information about Mr. Slummings’ whereabouts are encouraged to contact the Yuma County Sheriff or the Yuma City Police. Slummings is a person of […]
December 17, 2033: Yuma, AZ—The body of an unidentified male was discovered buried in ice at the Yuma Water Refinery early this morning. Yuma County Sheriff Leon X. Wilmar is leading the investigation. “I can only confirm that a body was found this morning, frozen in ice. It appears to be a male Caucasian, middle-aged, […]
December 15, 2033: Yuma, AZ—Yuma County Sheriff Leon X. Wilmar today revealed that the Sheriff’s Office has been investigating Arroyo’s owner Taffy Slummings since Arroyo manager David Goode’s body was found in an arroyo outside Yuma city limits back in 2029. Slummings was arrested but eventually cleared. Yet, as Sheriff Wilmar revealed, the Sheriff’s Office […]
December 14, 2033: Yuma, AZ—The Yuma Arroyos Office Manager, Roberta Tipitina, in the absence of both owner Taffy Slummings and GM Bob Mayberry, held a press conference today at the Yuma Water Refinery, owned by the Colorado River Water Consortium, whose principal stockholder is Taffy Slummings. Ms. Tipitina offered the Arroyo organization’s condolences to the […]
When the Yuma GM awoke the next morning, the first thing he spied was his pillowcase full of baseball cards. He was usually more careful than to leave them out where every nurse or orderly who checked on him would see them. They remained contraband, no matter how often the staff overlooked them, and to […]
“The water deal,” Mayberry said. “What I remember is this.” And he proceeded to explain to Slummings about a deal arranged back in 2028, just before the season began, with the Crystal Lake Sandgnats. Years of drought had lowered the water level in Crystal Lake to critical levels. Since the lake was a tourist attraction […]
“You’ve been looking for just two cards?” “Yup.” “Are they like hard to come by, these two cards, are they like rare cards, like a Mickey Mantle rookie card?” “Not rare, no.” “So, for how long?” “How long?” “Yeah, how long you been looking? A month, a year … how long?” “Oh, man, you’re talking […]
A singing cafeteria is a strange thing, Slummings realized. Stranger yet when the cafeteria is in a mental hospital. And strangest of all was the man who had stared at him, the man who leaned over and whispered, “You ain’t gettin’ outa here,” or something like that. Slummings was so shaken by the words, by […]
“It was just a dream,” Slummings was explaining to Mayberry over breakfast. The hospital served a mean bowl of oatmeal, he discovered, along with some stiff pancakes, frozen waffles, tired-looking scrambled eggs, and sweet rolls dripping with some sort of white goop. Slummings had been afraid to ask, but all around him patients scarfed them […]
