Roberta Umor, Yuma Sun

28 September 2019: Yuma, AZ — Rioting broke out in Yuma last night at 9:20 pm as Larry Taylor induced Mike Hale to fly out to right fielder Esteban Miranda, completing Taylor’s 44th save of the season and clinching a playoff position for the Yuma Bulldozers for the first time in the history of the PEBA.

Police Chief John Lekan said the Yuma police were ready for the crazed behavior of young people coming out of the stadium last night. “We knew the Dozers had a chance to clinch, and we figured there’d be some celebrating, but we put every officer in the county on duty last night.”

The vigilant police kept the rioting to a minimum: the mayor imposed a curfew for 10 pm and by 10:15 or so the streets were empty. The only police arrests were two young men caught vandalizing the Bulldozer souvenir store. The rest of the youthful mob dispersed quickly, once the police moved in.

Most of the town’s residents were unaware of the rioting.

Down at Anna’s Mexican Food, locals hung out, celebrating the Dozer victory in their own quiet way. The restaurant’s owner, Anna, said, “Everybody happy here. Yuma win. Everybody eat. Business good.”

Longtime patron of Anna’s, Bo Belinsky, said, “Yuma has reason to be proud. It’s been a long time coming, but the Dozers are no longer losers.”

When asked what chances he thought the local boys had in the first round of the Sovereign League playoffs, Bo said, “Not a snowball’s chance in hell. But I’m pulling for ‘em anyway.”

Not everyone dismissed the Dozers chances. Anna’s swing shift waitress, BooBoo Boogums, reminded Bo Belinsky that the Dozers had just won 2 out of 3 games against the Aurora Borealis, the same team they play in the first round of the playoffs. “I’d say that gave them a better than 50-50 chance,” Boogums said, “wouldn’t you?”

The graveyard waitress, just coming to work as we concluded our interviews at Yuma’s favorite late night restaurant, didn’t share Denise’s optimism. “Winning takes getting used to,” Lauraine Palm said. “Some folks are gonna be terribly disappointed when the Dozers are eliminated from the playoffs. Expectations have been raised unreasonably high, and tonight’s riots are gonna seem like child’s play compared to what’s coming down the pike.”

“Folderol,” retorted 90-year-old lifetime Yuman being, Fred Poppycock. “All this piss and vinegar from young people puts me off my burritos—which, by the way, are extraordinary here at Ana’s. But there’s no reason to be so negative. The Dozers got to the playoffs, let’s enjoy that while we can and hope for more.”

Several patrons raised glasses of the local Colorado River water to toast Poppycock’s sentiments.

No matter how long the Dozers last in the playoffs, it is an historic moment in Yuman history. The Bulldozers will be playing ball in October!