Roberta Umor, Yuma Sun

13 January, 2013: Yuma, AZ — Pam Postema, spokeswoman for the Yuma Bulldozers, announced today that the franchise has been purchased by a consortium of local business owners and one East Coast investor.  Rumors that GM Bob Mayberry would be replaced were just that, said Postema; rumors.  In a show of support for the GM, the new owners funded a one million-dollar renovation of the minor league stadium of the Kivalina Bowheads, Yuma’s short-season A affiliate.

“Assisting the Kivalina refugees,” announced Postema, “is a high priority for the new owners, as is continuing the five-year plan for player development.”

When asked if the ballclub could afford to do both – attract talented young players and house the entire village of Kivalina – Postema smiled.  “Wait until this year’s amateur player draft.”

Pressed for the names of the new owners, Postema would only say, “They will speak for themselves soon enough.  They just invested their life savings into a last-place ballclub.  Give them some time.”

There was frenzied speculation that the East Coast investor might be one of the sons of George Steinbrenner, former owner of the now defunct New York Yankees.  The Steinbrenners have not had a baseball club to spend their money on since the Yankees joined history’s dustbin along with the rest of Major League Baseball in the early years of this century.  The overspending of owners like Steinbrenner has been cited by more than one source as the cause for the economic collapse of the MLB.

But according to Postema, there is “no chance” the Steinbrenners are interested in the losingest baseball team in PEBA history.  “The outside investor,” she said, “is someone whose spirit is more befitting of the Yuma franchise.”