Tuesday, November 22, 2016

It’s 5 a.m. at the Holiday Inn Express in Tempe, Arizona. A young breakfast steward by the name of Rosa has just begun to bring in trays of bagels, muffins, and cereal. After firing up the first pot of coffee of the day, she opens a cabinet door labeled “Employees Only” and pulls out an Entenmann’s Chocolate donut. She brings the donut and two half pints of chocolate milk to the man in the corner.

“Remember, if anyone asks, you bought this from the 7-Eleven down the street,” says Rosa

“Thanks, Rosa, You’re the best”

That was the voice of Tempe Knights GM Alan Ehlers. Over the past week, he has called this sleazy hotel home. Camped in Room 208, he’d often head out to the breakfast nook just to catch a glimpse of civilization. Of all the people he met, Rosa could be considered a friend. After all, everyone else was gone in a day or two – she was there every day.

“So how is the off season going? I hear you traded for Raúl García. Think he’ll help enough to get that no-good boss of yours off your back?”

“I wish. García is going to be a fine player for us, but he isn’t a pitcher. We need pitching. Without pitching, we won’t win 85 games. If we don’t win 85 games, I’m…”

“I know; you’re fired. You’ve been saying that all week.”

Rosa walks away in frustration. Well, that and she needs to start a pot of decaf before the morning rush. Ehlers takes a bite of his delicious donut and slouches back over a laptop littered with multi-tab spreadsheets. In walks Knights’ Head Scout Matt Pratt. The two have a breakfast meeting planned before they congress with the entire coaching staff at 9 a.m.

“You GMs and your spreadsheets. You drive me crazy. Don’t you know that baseball games are won and lost on the field, not on a laptop? Well, anyway, I got some bad news. RR resigned with NJ. You’re gonna have to go ahead and pull the trigger to get ‘Clubhouse’ MacGruder. Give them the second overall pick and whatever else they want. Don’t think twice about it – I’ll find new prospects to restock the farm.”

“I have even more bad news. I called Yuma and they won’t trade their clubhouse for our entire clubhouse. I should just give up now. It’s hopeless.”

With a look of desperation, Ehlers pulls up a spreadsheet of all the available free agent pitchers. With one pointer finger on the screen to guide his reading and the other placed in the corner of his mouth, he runs off the names one by one.

“Silva… coming off major injury. Sekiguchi… meh, kinda old, walks a lot of guys. Wesley Scott… very overpriced for what he is. Robert Collins… one-hit wonder. Crête… maybe, but a five-year deal? Risky. Seriously, Kevin Hollins looks decent in this scope, and we released him last season. I’m about to bring in Kirby Gibson for old times’ sake because, no matter who I sign, they are going to make me look like a total buffoon.”

“Don’t forget we still have Jaime Salinas coming off of injury.”

Salinas was one of the players that came over from Bakersfield in the Markus Hancock trade. In his 2015 rookie campaign, Salinas shined. Ehlers publicly stated that Salinas was a Golden Arm in the making. With Hancock winning another PEC and Salinas missing the entire season, mentioning the two in the same breath was probably not the smartest PR move Ehlers has ever issued.

“Is he really? How do you know that? Salinas has a glass arm. One more setback and his career is likely over. As far as I’m concerned, there is no such player on our team. If he comes back… fine. I’ll believe it when I see it. I just can’t depend on the guy. We need pitching, and fielding a team of Rule 5 picks just isn’t going to net us 85.”

“You need to snap out of it. Rule 5 picks, waiver claims, and under-the-radar trades are your specialty. Look at Ricardo Borghese. You pulled him out from the deepest, darkest dredges of the PEBAverse, and he pitched stellar. How come you can’t just find two or three more of him?”

Borghese was acquired in April from the London Underground in exchange for an 8^th round pick. It was thought at the time to be a handshake deal between two ex-Steel Dragons GMs. Ehlers knew more than that. He’s shown time and time again that he has the ability to turn subpar players into serviceable options. Forgotten in a lost season are the stories of Borghese and Robin Kenney. Forgotten is the fact that he can easily get production from other castaways in the same fashion. Forgotten is the confidence that he has apparently lost.

“For every Borghese, there was a Rafael Ramírez. I just don’t have it anymore. Whatever sixth sense I had before, it’s escaped me for good. I’ve ruined this franchise. I deserve to be fired. I’m just not good enough to hang with the elite GMs of the PEBA.”

“Well, if that’s how you feel, do us all a favor and resign at the meeting this morning. I used to think so highly of you from afar. Now that you’re here in the PEBA, I can see that you’re just a failed prospect that doesn’t have enough work ethic or intelligence to make a name for yourself. See you at the meeting.”

Pratt walks out and slams the door behind him. Ehlers looks down at his half-eaten donut with a bewildered look on his face. His appetite lost, he glances over at Rosa, who is hustling and bustling to clean up the massive mess left by guests. Ashamed that she went out of her way and he can’t finish his food, Ehlers tries to sneak out. Rosa notices him notice her and immediately comes over.

“Is everything okay?”

“Yes, why?”

“Well, everyday I’ve seen you devour them donuts. I’m disappointed that you can’t finish what you started. It’s not like you to leave something half done. Now finish it. I know you want to.”

“You know what, Rosa? You’re right. I’m not leaving anything on the table. I’m gonna finish what I started.” Ehlers takes three huge bites of the donut and a swig of chocolate milk, gathers his stuff, and heads back to his room to freshen up for the staff meeting.