WQSC 1340 AM Charleston, 12:01 P.M., Saturday, Mar.  7

Hello baseball fans, and welcome to Statesmen baseball on the ‘Q’.  I’m Ron Callaway, LIVE in Charleston, West Virginia, bringing you what you want to know about Statesmen baseball.

(music)

It’s back!  That’s right fans, Statesmen baseball is back.  We’re here LIVE at Allegheny Field, the site where the Statesmen will begin their Spring Training exhibitions.  There is a lot to be excited about this year, and we’ve got a great show for you folks today.  We’ll sit down for the very first time with Charleston’s new owner, Charles Pinckney, take calls from fans, including everybody’s favorite Angry Rob, and get you caught up on what’s going on with the team for the start of Spring Training.  This IS Statesmen baseball.

(commercial break – highlighted by an extremely convincing Titanic Clubs, Inc.  segment)

Alright, welcome back everybody.  Today’s game, while only an exhibition, could have some nice implications on how this year’s team stacks up against the division rival Coal Sox.  Last year the Statesmen finished a heartbreaking 3 games behind them, good for a 3^rd place finish.  The Coal Sox look to rebound to a playoff birth this year, finishing just 1 lonely game behind Gloucester for the last Imperial League Wild Card spot.

To help usher in this new era in Statesmen baseball, we’d like to invite the new principal owner and founder of Titanic Clubs, Inc., Charles Pinckney, to speak with us about the team.

(poor recording marking an attempt to illustrate a live audience)

Ron: Welcome to the show, Charles!

Charles: Thanks, Ron, it’s great to be here with you to kick off this exciting new season.

Ron: So Charles, have you settled into Mt.  Pleasant yet?

Charles: Not quite, I’ve been doing more golfing over there than unpacking.

Ron: Ah, it’s great to see an owner with their priorities straight!

(They both chuckle, Charles less convincingly)

Ron: So, Charles, the fans want to know, are you excited to be here?  How do you feel about this season?

Charles: (In an attempt to avoid the latter) Well, certainly I’m excited to be here.  The team is in great shape, healthy, and eager to kick things off today.  We’re looking forward to having some success this year, both on and off the field.

Ron: Off?  Care to elaborate?

Charles: Well, it seems some of the players are intrigued with my other business endeavors; you know, my golf club thing.  Well anyway, they’ve conjured some friendly golfing competitions between them.  It’s becoming the talk of the team really.

Ron: Great to see you’ve got them focused on baseball this time of year!

(15 boring minutes later…)

Ron: Now, Charles… are you aware who Angry Rob is?

Charles: I’ve heard of him.  He’s that Zombie guy, yea?

Ron: Not in the slightest.  He’s largely considered the Statesmen’s most dedicated fan, and we figured now was as good a time as any for you to meet him.

Are you there Rob?

Angry Rob: Hey Ron, how you doin’?   Love yer’ show.

Ron: Good to talk to you again Rob.  How was your birthday last week?

AR: Freakin’ grayt, I tell ya.  The misses bought me one a dem’ crock pots, you know, for muh stews.

Ron: That’s great.  Hey, Rob, we’ve got a special guest today, have you been listening to the show?

AR: Ah naw, just since I cawled in.

Ron: Well we’ve got the new owner of the team here today, live, and he’s been responding to phone calls all morning.  You have anything you’d like to ask him?

AR: Yea man.  Who are these guys?  Graham?  Wuts this I hears about yuh wuntin’ to trade away Roddy?  Whure did yuh get this coaching staff from?  I tell yuh, you sat around and watched the Dixies get better this year, and ain’t dun’ nuthin’ bout’ it.  Wut you need to do is give that China boy down in Raleigh a shot.  Hell, I went to more a dem’ games last year.  At least they won der’ devizion.  And wuts this talk bout’ (the distinguishable crack heard from the phone is the one and only Angry Rob Knee-slap) raising ticket prices dis’ year?  You gotta’ do better bout’ dis’ before you start charging us folk sum’ more money on dem’ games.  That ain’t no way to make uh entrance Arizona boy.

…I gotta get goin’.  I uh doin’ the drywall down er’ at the M-a-cDonalds.  Ill talk to you boys layter.  Get tuh werk Consenteen.

Ron: Always a pleasure Rob.  So, Charles, as you can see, fans want to know: who are these guys?  What can we really expect this year for the Statesmen?

Charles: Well, I’m running short on time.  I’ve got a tee-time at Little Creek Country Club in about an hour.  But, to be brief, I’m committed to winning.  I can assure the Statesmen followers that there may be some heartbreaking losses, sour trades here and there, but the big picture is keeping this organization full of talented youth so that we can reach long-term stability and not just waste money on guys who can help us temporarily.  Again, we are committed to winning, not for the short-term, but the long-term.  And we also plan to sell a heck of a lot of golf clubs to you!

Ron: Alright folks, there you have it, from the man himself.  We heard from Angry Rob, we’ve heard from the owner, and now it’s time to take you to the field for this afternoon’s exhibition game between West Virginia Coal Sox and your Charleston Statesmen!  You’re listening LIVE to Spring Training coverage from West Virginia.  I’m Ron Callaway.  Enjoy the game, and tune back tomorrow for a recap of this afternoon’s game and a preview of tomorrow’s against Gloucester.  And remember: ‘FATE is in our hands!’