Roberta Yumor, Yuma Sun

17 August 2020: Yuma, AZ — Hot Rod Johnson returned to the Bulldozer lineup last week, after being sent to the minors on July 22d to work on his swing, and promptly was awarded the SL Player of the Week Award for his hot hitting. In an unusual announcement, Johnson thanked Connecticut Nutmeggers’ General Manager Frank Esselink for his part in returning Johnson to the major league club.

“Oh, yeah, dude, it’s like totally rad to be back and helping the club out and all. I’m like totally stoked to be getting in a few swings. When I got caught down inside Henderson, oh, man, it was like I was gonna get cleaned up, y’know? Heavy down there, I was afraid I was gonna get closed out, y’know what I mean, dude? It was gnarly. Like I was going over the falls, for real!”

Johnson, who grew up in Southern California and played high school ball for Chatsworth, can still sound like a surfer even after a decade in the PEBA. He read from a prepared statement to conclude the interview.

“Oh yeah, like it says here I wanna thank my manager and the Bulldozer organization for having faith in me and bringing me back up. Honestly, dudes? Those AAA pitchers? They’re nothing but spongers, dude, real Schoobies.”

In 8 games playing for the Yuma AAA club in Henderson, Johnson hit .345 with 3 homers and 9 RBIs.

“But,” Johnson added, “I also want to thank the Connecticut GM for putting in a good word for me. That dude’s no quimby.”

Reporters buried Hot Rod with questions about the role Connecticut GM Frank Esselink had in his return to the major league team. Hot Rod’s response was, “From what I heard, Connecticut called Coach Legere to suggest putting me back in the starting lineup. Way cool, huh?”

With that, Johnson concluded the interview. Reporters asked Manager Ken Legere to confirm that Connecticut’s GM had, indeed, suggested returning Johnson to the major league lineup.

Legere would not comment, but his bench coach, former 12 Million Dollar Man David Goode, spoke privately with a few reporters. According to Goode, Yuma and Connecticut were negotiating a trade which fell through, at which point GM Esselink remarked that were he Yuma’s manager, he would play Hot Rod Johnson, in spite of the problems Hot Rod was having at the plate at that time.

Reporters contacted Esselink by phone, and he confirmed the trade negotiations and added, “I think I said something like why not let Johnson play through his slump, given all the walks he draws. Something like that. I’m glad to see he’s swinging the bat well again.”

“And,” Esselink added with a laugh, “I’m pleased as punch we don’t have to play against Hot Rod and his fellow Yuman Beings!”

As he left the clubhouse, Hot Rod Johnson was asked whether Esselink’s memory of the phone conversation that returned Hot Rod to the Yuma lineup was consistent with what Johnson himself had been told.

Johnson replied, “Yeah, dude, it’s all good for what it is.”