Daily log of a Fresh-faced College Graduate
April 6, 2013

Yeah, I finished my finals and graduated early with my degree in Russian history and a minor in hallucinogenics, but where the hell did it get me?  I mean, who woulda thunk the job market would be so skinny for obvious creds like me?  It’s absolutely ridiculous.

On the bright side, at least the parental nodules were zany enough to foot the whole college bill, so while I might be effectively homeless, I’m also gloriously debt-free (assuming you ignore the little Tequila tab I ran out on in Harry’s Chocolate Shop the night the Rodents drubbed the Astronauts up in Lafayette – which I figure after six months is probably a pretty fair assumption to make).  What this means is that I’m young, and I’m free, and I gots a lot of nothing to do.  So I hooked up with my buddy Don-o a week ago and he says we ought to sink some serious unemployment cash into a road trip.

Sounded outstandingly handsome to me.  So here we are, hitching and walking the country and doing a tour of the PEBA on $25 a day.

The first stop was a place near and dear to my heart; a trip to good ol’ Doyle Buhl Stadium to watch my Warriors take on Omaha.  The park has a great, old-style feel to it that almost makes you want to wear a white button-down and a thin black tie – “almost” being the right term there.  Anyway, being that it’s Opening Day and all, the park is jam-packed despite the snow and the thermometer reading that stays above 0° only because us ‘Mericans still use the Fahrenheit scale.  Just an aside… who the hell starts an April game in Minnesota at 7:00 PM?  Don-o and I chip the ice off our seats and settle in for a great game.

And the team begins to deliver on that promise.

Hope springing as it does, Warriors fans had to be pretty comfortable looking at the early part of the schedule.  Omaha is not a squad to make the knees quake, Reno hasn’t had a winning season since the league’s first year, and Yuma… well… let’s face it; a team with Rosie O’Donnell and Madonna on it could still probably take the Bulldozers in a best of seven series.

The game didn’t start well for the Warriors, as Harumi Yamoto – “Yams” to Don-o and I – gave up two in the first on a towering blast from Brett Hurst.  I swear, Hurst mashed it so hard and so high that it got lost in the snow.  No one knew it was gone until it beaned a kid in the left field seats.  After replay determined the ball was clearly gone, Yams got to mowing down Cyclones like there was no tomorrow, and 32-year-old rookie Carlos Colón took one out to right-center.  Three more runs in the sixth and another in the seventh saw my Warriors take a 6-2 lead into the 8^th.

From this point on, the season seems to have taken a total turn.

Yams apparently hit the wall, giving up a pair of walks, a double and a dong.  This turned a nice start into a six-earned run outing and an apparent win into a gut-wrenching 8-7 loss.  It was horrid, of course.  A few brews and a night of sleep later, we watched the Cyclones destroy another Warriors starter, this time Dillon Hansen, who gave up seven and didn’t make it out of the second inning of an 8-1 shellacking.  (Another aside… I mean, seriously, after two straight seasons of throwing ERAs in the upper regions of 5 and 6, did we really need another look at Hansen?  Seriously?)  Not content yet, Manager Miguel Angel Flores ran Minoru Kudo (11-28 lifetime, so you see why Don-o and I call him “Kudzu”) out to start the third game of the series.  Kudzu matched Hansen’s seven runs but did manage to hang around for a spring training-like 4+ innings – though the 25° weather was anything but spring-like.  The Warriors crumbled 13-6 to start the season off 0-3, making all us faithful do more than a bit of gut-checking.

This all led me to wonder… where does Flores get these guys?  I mean, the guy has three names and makes a cool 650-grand a year, and we get Yams, Hanson and Kudzu?  Even my grandmother can tell what’s going to happen with those guys on the hill.  This guy hasn’t won more than 64 games since the league’s first season.  How much longer do us Warriors fans have to put up with this?

Needless to say, the arrival of Reno was highly anticipated, but the facts are these: Owen Page to the mound, six more earned runs in 4.1 innings.  Page, it should be noted, has four pitches, all of them apparently hittable.

And so the first leg of my StPo25 adventure has been completed.  My honest assessment?  The seats need to be heated.

And, yeah, Flores has to go out and find someone who can give him 6+ innings or the team may never win another game.

So Don-o and I decided four games was enough.  We packed our fanny packs, loaded up our hobo sticks and set off on a course to… well… you’ll know as soon as we do.