December 18, 2033: Yuma, AZ—At today’s press conference, Yuma County Sheriff Leon X. Wilmar announced that police are trying to locate Taffy Slummings, owner of the Yuma Arroyos ball club. Anyone with information about Mr. Slummings’ whereabouts are encouraged to contact the Yuma County Sheriff or the Yuma City Police.

Slummings is a person of interest in the disappearance of Crystal Lake ice magnate Charles Dole IV. Sources have identified Slummings as the man accompanying Dole on a tour of the Yuma Water Refinery Plant. Crystal Lake’s own ice company purchases Colorado riverwater from the Yuma refinery.

Slummings was last seen in Yuma early in the 2033 baseball season. Arroyos business manager Roberta Tipitina has reported to police that Slummings took the Amtrak train to Camarillo, CA where he intended to visit the Arroyos General Manager in absentia, Bob Mayberry, resident in the Camarillo State Mental Hospital. Police inquiries to the hospital have been frustrated by a lack of response from hospital officials. “It’s like they deliberately don’t want to help us find Mayberry or Slummings,” Sheriff Wilmar remarked. To close friends, Wilmar was overheard to wonder “what in the name of tarnation they’re hiding out there.”

The Sheriff has reached out to colleagues in the Ventura County Sheriff’s Office, where the Camarillo State Hospital is located, requesting they visit the hospital to determine if either Mayberry or Slummings are there. “We’ll know in 24 hours if this whole hospital trip is just a red herring,” Sheriff Wilmar said. “It smells like day old fish. But we’ll get to the bottom of their barrel, by hook or by crook.”

Meanwhile, the Yuma Police are interviewing employees of the water refinery to determine if, in fact, Slummings was seen in the company of Charles Dole on December 9th. Conflicting eye witness reports have either Slummings or someone claiming to be his grandson in the company of Dole. Police investigators have determined that Taffy Slummings has no grandchildren. If the accounts of a grandson leading Dole’s tour are accurate, someone is posing as Slummings’ relative. Police are interested in questioning that individual.