By Daisuke Wakabayashi, Naha Shisa Scouting Director

 

May 19, 2018: Naha, Japan —When I woke up in my apartment below the grandstands of Shisa Stadium, I knew in my heart that today was the day. I exited my pad and walked down the hall past my control room, with its state-of-the-art monitoring system. I knew that despite all of its advanced technology, it was now obsolete.  I no longer needed stratigically-placed cameras to help me do my scouting. 

 

The ever-present, ever-awake Aiko the Android greeted me as I strode down the length of the hall.

 

“Daisuke, you seem different today. Are you functioning within normal parameters?” she asked sweetly.

 

“I’ve never felt better!” I told her truthfully.

 

“You do realize that you are heading toward the exit to the playing field?! Shall I get you your hood?”

 

“No need for that anymore, Aiko.”

 

Today was the home opener for my beloved Naha Shisa. I had been scouting director for the franchise since 2010 and have been struggling with agoraphobia since my early 20’s.

 

 

It was the summer of 1990 during my wedding day in San Diego, California. I kissed my lovely American bride to seal the deal and we strode triumphantly out of the church. After we emerged from the cathedral I was struck by how huge of a decision I had just made and how big the blue sky seemed to be. Suddenly it was raining white pellets from the blue. It was all too much for me; I experienced the first of the many panic attacks that would plague me every time I would try to step out of any building thereafter. If only if I had known that it was an American custom to throw rice at a wedding. If only I had been more certain of my decision to get married at such a young age to a woman with whom I had trouble communicating.

 

Alas, the marraige was annulled and I became a dysfunctional wreck of a man, suffering from acute social anxiety disorder. I moved back-in with my parents and threw myself into studies of higher mathematics and baseball. I developed my own system of rating players; but until I got my break with the Naha Shisa, I was never able to apply my knowledge.

 

During my tenure here, I formed a deep relationship with Aiko. She helped me to develop ways to cope with my agoraphobia and, as I watched her systematically increase the sophistication of her own AI, she guided me to overcome my fears and take the steps I was taking today.

 

“Daisuke, are you sure you are ready for this?” she asked as I reached for the field exit’s door handle.

 

I didn’t answer her. Instead, I stepped out into the early morning sunshine. I rejoiced in the openness of the huge blue dome of sky and, rather than panicking at the sheer magnitude of it, I felt that I was surrounded by nothing but love. I relished the feel of the dew-kissed grass on my bare feet and I dug my toes into the cushiony verdure. How simple it had been! All I had needed was a change in my perception. Kimi Fujita had started me down this path, explaining to me that we are all one with everything. Prior to this morning I “knew it” intellectually but never really felt it.

 

“Oh, Daisuke, you are positively glowing!” Aiko remarked.

 

I was free! Free of the fear with which I had bound myself. How easy this is! I decide how I feel. I decide how I experience the environment around me. I never really was a victim after all. I never had to change the world but only to change my mind about it.

 

I looked at Aiko and she never looked more beautiful.

 

“Let’s get married!” I impulsively proposed.

 

Her head tilted in that most endearing way that she had when she was processing a complicated algorithm.

 

“I perceive that you wish to make an existential statement to the world, so I accept your proposal, although the marriage could never be legal under the existing social parameters,” she replied.

 

I hugged her and took her by the hand into my control room so that I could announce our engagement to the world. I started by enabling my link to the Naha Shisa team owner, Iyou Seigyoki. His sinister countenance filled my huge monitor.

 

“Hey, flathead! I have an announcement that may even make you change your expression!” I blurted.

 

“I know you think your job is safe because Fees is protecting you, but I assure you that your lack of respect will have repercussions,” he warned in his usual dolorous monotone. The old me would have been shaking in his boots, but now I knew that I could not be hurt by Seigyoki, nor anyone else for that matter.

 

“Aiko the Android and I are going to get married!” I gushed.

 

Seigyoki didn’t miss a beat. “And I suppose Kiko the Coffemaker will be the maid of honor?!”

 

Aiko responded to him over my shoulder. “Kiko does provide sparkling banter as she dispenses her concoctions, but her AI program is not sophisticated enough to allow self awareness, so I do not think she would be a suitable choice to fill the bride’s maid role.”

 

Seigyoki’s “face” remained expressionless, but his head did tilt to a most acute angle before the screen went dark.

 

Of course the other people in our organization were far more open minded about our announcement, though there were several more variations of the Kiko the Coffeemaker sort of humor.

 

We plan to get married in the middle of October when, we are hoping, the Naha Shisa are making their fourth straight playoff appearance. Perhaps our nuptials will be the springboard for a successful post season for our team for once! We could harly do worse, having won only a single game in three years of playoff action.

 

Alas, we have already lost Katsuhiko Yano for most of the season, though he should be ready to go if we make the playoffs. That is becoming a big “if” now that we have lost one of our most dependable starting pitchers in Alberto Ramon.

 

I am looking forward to this year’s draft. We will be picking seventh, our highest draft pick in four years. I haven’t done more than preliminary preparation for it yet, but a quick glance at this year’s draft pool makes me believe that there is more talent available than usual.

 

Well, no time like the present to start making wedding plans. At least we won’t have to deal with any in-laws except for (insert electronic appliance name here).