Meet Arne Bong
By Olaf Halvorsen, Senior Blogologist
January 13, 2013
Unga Bunga is proud to present an exclusive look at the shipping magnate and new owner of the Duluth Warriors. The reclusive Bong is officially slated to take control of the team in February but has agreed to sit down with senior blogologist Olaf Halvorsen to discuss the life, liberty and Warriors baseball.
UB: So what made you want to purchase the Warriors, especially considering their less-than-stellar history of performance on the field?
AB: Mostly civic pride. The Bong name and the Bong brand have such a strong presence in the greater Duluth-Superior region that it seemed a natural fit to extend that brand into the realm of entertainment and sports. Also, my father was a fan of the game and played in high school. It seemed to be a great fit in many ways.
I’ve been lucky – the shipping business has been good to me. Bong Water & Air has given me the freedom to do as I please. In this case, it has allowed me to purchase a baseball team in the hometown of my family. Sometimes it gives me the munchies too. Do you have any chips?
UB: How did you and new GM Bill McKenzie form a partnership?
AB: I was seeking a new kind of general manager – a more analytical person, someone who won’t just apply the same faulty logic that has caused the Warriors to be the laughingstock of the Sovereign League. There is nothing funny about losing. Nobody understands that more than Bill McKenzie.
UB: That didn’t really answer my question. Didn’t you meet on the internet?
AB: Absolutely! That’s where business gets done in 2013. Don’t you agree? Aren’t you the owner and operator of a web log?
UB: Touché. I’ve heard he plays a lot of video games. I mean a lot of video games. Aren’t you worried he will treat your team like a fake fantasy baseball team?
AB: That’s absurd. He is on a very strict budget. He’s has a limit on the moves he can make. And I have told him to focus on 10 categories for all acquisitions; five key stats for hitting and five key stats for pitching. And everything gets my approval first. I have the utmost confidence in him and his abilities to draft a winner.
UB: Uhhh… let’s change gears. Is it difficult living in the shadow of the “Ace of Aces”?
AB: Yes, it is a challenge, especially since I never knew my father. But I believe I was born into this legacy for a reason – heck, my name means “eagle” in Old Nordic, for crying out loud. The Bong name flies high in Duluth and I want to make it higher than a kite. Have you ever just looked at your hands? Whoa – they are fascinating.
UB: One final question, Mr. Bong – are you really convinced you can reverse the history of this franchise? Four straight 100-loss seasons and never placing above fourth in the division is a lot to overcome.
AB: That was yesterday; this is today. I’ve hired the right GM for the job. You heard it here first – we will not lose 100 games in 2013. Duluth will be proud of this team if it is the last thing I do.