Kalamazoo Gazette
Friday, December 28, 2012

The Kalamazoo Badgers ownership group is happy to announce the hiring of Bob Baginski as the new General Manager of the team.

However, according to an unnamed source close to the situation, some organization insiders have voiced concern that the untried Baginski has no proven track record at the big league level and has no business assuming the helm of a team that has seen a steady decline in performance since posting a 100-win season back in 2007.  These mysterious sources go on to speculate that the only reason he got the job was because of his friendship with top executives at Bell’s Brewery, which happens to be located in Kalamazoo and has so far been unsuccessful in obtaining an exclusive concession contract at Portage Park.

When asked to comment, Baginski replied, “All I ask is for a fair opportunity to assess the organizations strengths and weaknesses from top to bottom.  I intend to get the fannies back in the seats when the citizens of Kalamazoo start to see the improved product that we will put on the field.”

Baginski was asked to defend the allegation that he received this job solely through third-party business interests.  He bristled and, in an escalated tone, replied, “I earned a chance for this position!  Let’s talk again soon.”  Then, clutching his Excel for Dummies book, he disappeared into his new office at Portage Park.

Baginski has a difficult road ahead of him.  He will need to win over his detractors as well as the win-starved baseball fans of southwest Michigan.