4/1/2013: Reno, NV – I know it is Opening Day, but before I get into all that, I want to talk about how much I hate coffee cups in which the hottest part of the cup is the handle.  What kind of sadistic mind designs a ceramic cup made specifically for hot beverages where the handle gets hotter than the liquid inside?  How does it even work?  Is there some kind of material in the handle that absorbs all the heat?  This is nothing short of pure evil.

Drinking coffee from one of these mugs is a lot like Opening Day when you are a Tenpinners fan.  I realize that PEBA Opening Day is supposed to be about hope.  I am familiar with the lame saying, “Hope Springs Eternal”, but give me a break – some teams have little to no hope.

This brings me to my beloved Reno Tenpinners.  Reno has a snowball’s chance in Hell of winning more games than they lose this season.  This is a team mired in failure.  Sure, the new management will do all they can to turn things around, but the rebuilding plan is expected to be slow and painful, and now that we have an idea of what the 2013 amateur draft class is going to look like, I’m gearing up for “slower and excruciatingly painful-er”.

I expect the 2013 PEBA season to be much like those awful coffee cups I mentioned in the first paragraph.  Imagine you have awakened to the dawn of a new day, the sun has risen and you had a long and restful sleep after another disappointing day slaving away for “The Man”.  You walk towards the kitchen to pour yourself a delicious cup of Joe and your mind wanders to that happy place where good triumphs over evil, dogs and cats live together in harmony and the Reno Tenpinners have a shot at fielding a competitive baseball team.  You reach down to grab the handle of the coffee mug and, lo and behold, you are scalded by temperatures that could melt granite.  To make matters worse, Reno is starting their first 12-game losing streak of the season.  The whole thing reminds me of Charlie Brown trying to kick the football that Lucy is holding for him.

Of course, I would be remiss in my duties if I didn’t give you a Tenpinners team preview.  The starting pitching will suck, the bullpen will suck and the offense will suck.  Play ball!