(Ghost Roast is a regular look at the foibles and follies of the Niihama-shi Ghosts)
By Midorikawa Michiyo, Niihama-shi Chronicle

May 30, 2011: Niihama, Japan – The month that began with the now-infamous “domino” weekend of injuries to the top third of the lineup ended with an even more devastating blow: starting pitcher Kisho Agedaulnar collateral ligament of his right elbow.

Ageda, starting pitcher on Opening Day, is obviously done for the season, and surgery is in order.  Serious doubts remain as to whether he will ever pitch again.

If that was not enough of a shock to beaten-down Ghosts fans, this led to another unfathomable development: so-called “General Manager” Mike Dunn unaccountably, amazingly, astoundingly decided to replace Ageda with Toshikazu Kichida, a mediocre middle relief pitcher.  Fans slurped soba in disbelief.  

Already 31 years old, Kichida is only in his second season in the majors, and he has started precisely zero games in a six season professional career.  

Zero.

When asked to explain this head-scratching roster move, Dunn refused comment, though he did issue this terse statement through a spokesman: “Our team’s play will speak for itself.  Ghosts management will not set the precedent of explaining roster decisions to the press.”

But dear readers, brace yourselves, for the Chronicle has learned the true reasons behind the bizarre promotion of an aging bullpen squatter.

We have obtained from unnamed sources a copy of a message purportedly sent by Kichida to Dunn just after the Ageda injury.  It is a jaw-dropping demand from a run-of-the-mill middle reliever:

“I didn’t come to the Ghosts to be a role player.  I’m a member of the starting rotation, and I deserve a chance to prove myself on the big stage.  Just give me a try for a month or two and see how it plays out.  I won’t disappoint you.”

Scrolled underneath the typed message is this handwritten addendum: “Oh, and by the way Mr. G-M sir, I have photos.  Don’t play dumb.  You know what I’m talking about.”

It was after the delivery of this cryptic note that Kichida was given his wish and added to the Ghosts’ starting rotation.  

Extortion?  Blackmail?  Call it what you will.  We call it folly.  Whatever skeletons (or sheep) are in Dunn’s closet, we cannot sit quietly and watch him sacrifice the future of the squad to protect his name and reputation.

Editors at the Chronicle have determined that you, the fans, deserve better, and we vow to find the truth of this Dunn character.  Stay tuned to this space for more revelations.