7/19/2009: BRIDGEPORT, CT – George John is relatively new to the world of professional baseball and just about as new to the world of craft beer.  An underage George John broke into the league in 2007 when Nutmeggers manager Patrick Reust didn't really have any other options at second base.  "Honestly, I had no choice.  George didn't look like he could lift the bat, and he still doesn't today," Reust was quoted as saying.  The rookie pressed on, though, picking up a decent 110 hits and turning 101 double plays in his rookie season.  Not bad.  Next season he would put up similar numbers, though his double play numbers decreased.  The 2008 season was also when John came to and stopped striking out, almost fully reaching his potential at the plate.

It is the 2009 season that stands out, though; John is projected to have 179 hits, 47 walks, 43 strikeouts and 48 stolen bases while hitting .302!  What lead to this awesome turnaround?  We all know Reust would like to take all the credit, but when John was asked, "Craft beer," was his reply.  Understandably so, Mr.  John…  understandably so.  While John was moping about during the Nutmeggers's dismal 2008 campaign he discovered Beer Advocate, a site full of tons of beer-related information that functioned as his gateway to some of the most delicious beverages on planet Earth.

It was at Beer Advocate where John realized he was wasting his time being an underweight budding star.  John realized the key to his success would be ritual consumption of excellent beer.  John pledged to himself and his teammates to indulge in certain brews for certain occasions.  For every hit John gets in the 2009 season, he pledged to drink an IPA.  If that hit was for extra bases, the beer would be a Double IPA.  Every stolen base John recorded would result in John sipping on a delicious Russian Imperial Stout.

Almost the instant John embarked on this delicious endeavor, he changed.  He started to grow hair on his chest and burp and fart while he was out on the field.  He started to gain weight…  actually, no he didn't; he is still a twig.  John and his teammates attribute his success to beers like Nugget Nectar, Hop Obama, Stone Imperial Russian Stout, Nelson, Sculpin IPA, Pliny the Elder and Dark Lord Imperial Stout.  Folks, the list could go on and on.  This new connection between craft beer and John's performance will surely lead to a better tomorrow in Connecticut, or at least a drunken tomorrow.

John was too busy “practicing" to comment on whether or not his new ways would help improve the Nutmeggers, but Adrián Reséndez had some ugly feelings towards what John was doing.  "George let me try some of his Sculpin IPA a few weeks back, and next thing I know I am waking up from a night spent at the base of the stairs in our hotel lobby!”  Reséndez would not answer the question of whether or not his drinking had lead to the bone chips in his elbow, but I suppose that is a story for another time.