Don’t Fear the Reaper?

Duluth, MN
February 26th, 2028

What’s in a name?

Not much, if you ask Duluth’s new skipper, Danny Grimes, who the players have already started calling “The Reaper.”

“Kids have no [expletive] discipline these days,” Grimes told the Duluth Times, sitting in his clubhouse office.  As we spoke, workers were hastily removing all decorations and lavish furniture from the room.  Grimes replaced the dark oak three-piece desk of former Manager Kijuro Yoshida with a faded-green metal desk from the basement.   Pausing to spit tobacco juice into a Dixie cup, Grimes scowled at me from across the olive-drab metal surface, muttering “Like I give a flying [expletive] what that pack of wild dingoes think of me.  They will do pushups until they die for this.”

Known for his stern demeanor and unique ability to unhinge on player and umpire alike, Grimes is relatively unknown in the PEBA world.  A recent Duluth Times report details his experience in the minor leagues.  However, newly-returned GM Ricky McCoy is confident that Grimes is the right man for the job.

“Every organization needs a drillmaster,” McCoy told us over the phone in a brief weekend interview.  “Duluth is poised to do well in 2035, and we need a leader who can keep the players motivated and focused.”

Some players, however, disagree.

“That dude is a [expletive] clown,” one player told us under the condition of anonymity. “He made me do fifteen pushups for every sign I shook off from the dugout last practice game.”

Respect or not, it is clear all players fear Grimes, and multiple Warriors told the Times that he earned the ‘Reaper’ title by “harvesting souls in practice.”

An active Winter Meetings followed by a lukewarm Free Agency casts an uncertain light on the Warriors as the PEBA gaze looks to 2035.  Is the Reaper just the leader the Warriors need to end their long run of mediocrity, or just another ghost in the way of success?  Only time will tell.