Cobb Announces Retirement from Baseball
Steve Dallas, Laredo Midday Times
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
Jack Cobb announced his retirement from baseball today. In a written statement released to the press, Cobb hung up his spikes. His prepared statement read as follows:
Baseball has been a part of my life for a very long time, so it is with mixed emotions and an empty wallet that I bid adieu to the game I love. It has been apparent for some time that no PEBA team was willing to pay fair market value for my extraordinary baseball skills. In addition, the strains of being a two-sport superstar have become a burden. While I am leaving baseball, I will continue my life in sports, content to be a one-sport superstar. While I love baseball and it has been very good to me, there comes a time in everyone’s life that they must make a choice, and at this time, I have chosen to devote my full attention to the sport of asparagus eating. To my loyal fans, I thank you and want you to know that you will always be in my heart. Goodbye.
— Jack
Drafted in the 25th round of the PEBA inaugural draft, Cobb never quite lived up to his own hype. He spent five years in the PEBA and managed to make his way to five different organizations. His high-water mark was in 2008 when he hit .272 with a .360 OBP, 29 2B, 7 3B, 10 HR, 53 RBI and 15 SB. For his career, Cobb batted .244 with a .326 OBP, 40 HR and 232 RBI.
While he may not be best known for his baseball skills, Cobb remains one of the PEBA’s most enigmatic, yet endearing, figures. From clearing his name of unmade steroid allegations to his breakup with Bakersfield, wherever he played, Cobb was entertaining if nothing else. It’s unlikely the fans in Laredo will ever forget his H.R. Pufnstuf costume, or that mall patrons that fateful Opening Day in 2010 will ever forget his streak. Certainly his hired help in Laredo – those who survived, anyway – will never forget that they worked for such a man. In his own way, Cobb left many people speechless. Others, he left hearing-impaired. Most recently, he has been seen in the company of the New Orleans Trendsetters GM.
Jack Cobb has left baseball. He will be missed. By who, we are not quite sure.