6/7/2009: Arlington, VA – Retired United States Senator Daniel J. Woods (R-KY) has reportedly bought the Arlington Bureaucrats baseball franchise in a surprise mid-season transaction.  Ownership changes are a rarity midseason, but owner John Whitacre’s current legal situation has forced him to sell the team.

Whitacre’s rapidly accumulating legal fees related to his case involving last winter’s DUI and vehicular manslaughter charges have forced him to part with the club.  Senator Woods was the highest bidder and the transfer of power will be completed before the end of the month.

“I’ve always been a supporter of the ‘Crats,” says Woods.  “Every man dreams of owning his favorite sports team and now I get to personally help Arlington win the Championship.  Baseball is America’s favorite pastime and I am honored to partake”.

Even at 76 years old Senator Woods, known for his enthusiasm and quirkiness, has been able to keep up with modern social movements of the younger generations; he maintains a MySpace social network profile and was known for his political blog during his Senate terms.   The Senator is expected to take a hands-on approach to running the Bureaucrats and it would appear that changes may be ahead.

Beulah Tuttle of The Citizen