New Era in Omaha Begins With Suprising Results

[Jason]

8/8/2007: Reno, NV - With the 6th overall pick in the PEBA Draft, the Omaha Cyclones picked superstar 3rd Baseman Ollie Morris. For half a season Cyclones fans fell in love with their new star, but the saga took a new turn on July 31, 2007 as Omaha traded Morris and highly regarded closer Don Nichols to the Palm Springs Codgers for a package of 3 players. The Cyclones had cut Aurora's SL Wild Card lead to just 4 games before a disastrous 0-6 slide saw the Cyclones go from holding to selling at the deadline. "We thought if we could make a run to the playoffs, we could get our stadium packed out and have an outside shot at resigning Morris (who was in a contract year)," explained GM Bryan Dobney. "When we slid out of contention it was obvious we were risking not getting anything of Ollie so we felt like our best option was to get what we could and free up some cash." The Cyclones got just one ML level player (Scott Brown) in the deal, but got two minor leaguers with loads of promise according to the Omaha FO. As Omaha fans mourned the departure of their hero, the 'Clones want to work gaining back some dignity after a 0-6 slide.

In an effort to fire up his Morris-less troops, Omaha manager Julio Carillo brought in Academy Award winning actor/street pugilist Russell Crowe. "Russell was able to get us pretty pumped for our road trip to Kalamazoo... so much so that we let him hitch a ride with us back to Omaha for our home series against Aurora." However, after Crowe spurred the Cyclones to 6 straight victories, the fiery New Zealander was left in an Omaha jail after attacking 2nd Baseman José Ávila on the basis he was a "Columbian". Still, the Cyclones could look back with pride at a 6 game winning streak after the departure of their offensive mainstay.


News N' Notes:

- DH Jacques Fillion was asked to take a more vocal role in the leadership of the young club due to Morris's departure. "What do they want me to do, try out for the Omaha Art Society's production of The Sound of Music?" Fillion's snarky comment was taken appropriately by the Omaha FO, who volunteered the Canadian slugger for the lead role.

- LF Armando Santana may be the target of the club's new found cash as the Cyclones leading hitter could become a free agent at the end of the year.

- And finally, SS Miguel Angel Hernández suffered a cut to his forehead which required stitches after an altercation in the finals in the team's RBI Baseball tournament which stemmed from Hernandez "Crossing the acceptable lines of taunting" and "Calling in to question the chastity of 1B Bill 'The Reverend' Graham's wife prior to their marriage", report sources from inside the locker room.

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[John]

I'm with Russell: Ávila looks suspiciously Columbian. I do think he got a bit carried away, though. Looking at the picture in the homepage article... are those two dead bodies in the background? And is Crowe carrying a sword? This was some dust-up!

If Miguel Angel Hernández was able to reach the RBI Baseball finals, he should seriously consider pursuing a professional career doing that. He'd almost certainly be more successful there than he would be in PEBA. I hear he can win $1,200 in the RBI Baseball Championship of the Universe Tournament.

[Coqui]

You are a strange little man. Nice work on the veiled South Park references though.