PART FOURTEEN -- Saving Private Psilon
Things are warping out of control.
So let’s recap exactly how my plan for Psilonic domination of the Known Universe is faring thus far: the Bulrathi declared war on me, destroyed an outpost of mine, then ended the war, and now I’m using spies to steal their technology. And they’re using spies to steal my technology. The Orion race has left me alone, but could squash me like a bug if they so chose. The Antarans have wiped out one of my few colonies, then destroyed the whole damn planet. And speaking of bugs, now the Klackons, who at one time had been my nominal allies, are amassing a military fleet at the perimeter of my area of control. I lack the resources to fight back, and I doubt a big can of D-Con roach killer will do the trick.
Other than that, things are just hunky-dory.
Here’s that map provided by my top level military advisers of the Klackons.
I wait, anxiously. I shift some production to warships, but it’s probably too little, too late.
Also, I dispatch a couple of scouts to Marindi, where the Klackons are gathering. Perhaps the show of force will scare them off. Yea, right.
Near as I can tell, despite the use of the word ‘combat’ in that message, we have yet to engage any Klackon ships.
Meanwhile, my espionage against the Bulrathri bears more fruit:
Not bad. I like this spying stuff. That is, until this message arrives:
Dandy, now I’ve got everyone ready to battle me. I send orders to my spies to switch from stealing techs to out-and-out terrorism: sabotage.
Meanwhile, my so-called ‘military intelligence’ tells me that:
![Image](https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/0jK7eBuu_82NsZGHdM7bC3CHWWFkWdv8-GrPyVrtNNl-X5tCJU0gdlbS-NAx-wjiPlz-68FURfk0P2UbqJwLkTYtukaNk_SBp5yvfj5-J_nSZzb0rZA)
...meaning the Bulrathi are going to focus their efforts on lil ol’ me. Bring it on, bitch.
A short time later comes astounding news: my spies are doing their job, and quite well, actually:
![Image](https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/ATLg7up8Ri_JbzUSlCnVCMy9S6taMRvXe8x2qiCnriz0yIi6PgSZ0F9Z2wy7NbLchQwaQdOUiW_i7QbmGx5CmAp5NW67Uvba7A3foPyRWQOzXy2Q1cQ)
My reaction to this can’t be printed. Suffice it to say, I’m ecstatic. And scared.
click to enlarge
OK. I hadn’t even heard of the Elerians, and now they’re done. Poor guys. Of course this strange development is only likely to boost the fire power of the Bulrathi.
But, the hits keep coming:
![Image](https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/wUcE4fxEHrww6Ntm2DTB019ZvY3OQLyEQSGOjg1TcNCQF8SRGwxiPWX2pOaM2JEM9gkTQAJWOzogYU3dz13rJi2ACbIIyDIGBd4u4uX5jOUtxsUtsMI)
Just awesome. Time to train some more spies. This stealth war is far cheaper than funding an enormous military complex, for sure.
I can’t tell whether this is simply like kicking at the shins of the Bulrathi, or actually doing some substantive damage. But those spies certainly have proven to be worth their weight in gold, and I’m going to quickly train some more.
Then, on Stardate 3528.7, comes this both wonderful but curious message:
Its wonderful because one li’l old spy destroy a whole friggin’ Star Base. But the second sentence is perplexing: ‘You framed the Klackon.’ Does this mean my spy left evidence on the destruction of the base pointing to the Klackons as the culprit? My god, that guy is getting a year-end bonus.
The Klackons remain stationed at the Marindi system, but haven’t engaged my courier. They’re quiet, and that makes me anxious.
And then my iPhone 25K G rings. It’s the Klackon ambassador. This can’t be good:
![Image](https://lh4.googleusercontent.com/Fc0dBf4odMCdAhSqRLNb2pwSjdYCCFXd_UEIvnHPfOXZeQ98N62xYFWnntJzHB-Kue5bzRa50zm6x_r5dAMnIRkmY4LoIRhnouAge5aiToIf8p4i53U)
Hmm. Some sort of trap. I’m ready to start blaming the Antarans. But Bug-Boy’s question is pretty innocuous:
![Image](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Q-Kjckctn3WRugT8QiO2zlMWC5WKMg7pdLTWntzA6otMVRq3EOPc5zeZaHu0ozc0O-IyOlp3bBbbYbjcKe78Aj8aeTxQVzuQF7UvXrRwFJFen86R8ao)
Uhhh, sure pal. I’ve got spies trying to incite another war between you and the Bulrathi, and you want a research treaty with me? Hey, no problem. I readily accept.
![Image](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/Mz1VvSDOWl0EXiAavoYaoiSnTUmwjoaMxeB5ZLfKIQut0PSr21Z5f3kXqS0wHYjeRdGOik2Iped-ZQjSDP0ieSjPjrb6qg7YYPWtbiV53yd_O-vk8lM)
I pop open some of that rare Antaran champagne I bought on the black market. This spying stuff is fun.
![Image](https://lh6.googleusercontent.com/yUM3jsutTze4Yakk9f-z8YT16kaN0l0QWefA764dS5rgtnF8mDckEFQHj0NsXo7xC8bw45Ys1S9Ym0N6gLyrNtnamt5wjpDaiEtvbMQUAF16yBrMVtc)
Hmm. I don’t know that spy’s name, but he served my empire well. I asked my secretary to send his family a condolence card. Meanwhile, the Bulrathi are now sucking up to the Trilarians, who I have yet to formally meet.
On the research front, I’ve got a goodie coming that could greatly help my economy:
And now the AFL-CIO wants in:
![Image](https://lh3.googleusercontent.com/F_LvCjDE9EegH04G4xPa1UQcQeNjHPLiqncZYDQ_mAnNRkrD9ECO79qq38bVHo0C1LUZ5PXeR5zm-j6meMoTdLQvz6ggeO23dHYt6rgD-OxzfREG60M)
Even though I don’t want my peons unionized, this guy promises to increase the productivity of my factory workers by 30%. For that I’ll happily look for the union label.
Back on the espionage front, I now have one remaining spy, and I’ve just finished training a second one. The new one is posted not to the Bulrathi but to the equally threatening Klackons, and not to blow up stuff, but to steal technology.
The remaining spy, still posted to the Bulrathi empire, reports back with equal success of his late partner:
On the military front, I have built up a rather pathetic defense force:
These are four Courier VIII ships, the model that I designed myself a short while back. They are relatively affordable, fast, with a decent punch. They won’t be able to start a war, but they’ll put up a tough fight in defense of Our Noble Cause.
For now this fleet has been posted at the non-inhabitable system of Waage, just one system away from the massive Klackon fleet. They sit, watching, waiting, for signs of encroachment.
I won’t go down without a fight. No sir.