12/6/2012: Hartford, CT – Local resident Winston Campbell recently went into a tirade directed at his friend Rick Willoughby, which began with a misunderstanding related to the Rule 5 draft.  “For the last time, Rick!” wailed Campbell.  “It’s ‘Rule 5’, not ‘Rule V’!  How can you be so dense as to still not understand that?”

“’Rule 5’, ‘Rule V’, whatever.  V was good enough for the Romans; it’s good enough for me!” declared an obstinate Willoughby.

“But it’s based off the fact that the rules are numbered with the decimal system,” came Campbell’s reply.  “You can’t just go changing the numbering system to Roman numerals just because you think it’s fancy.”

“Well, I do think it’s fancy,” stated Willoughby matter-of-factly.  “I especially fancy Yuma’s selection of Jarred Curran with the first pick.  He’s worthy of a r oster spot on just about any second division team, and it’s not like the Bulldozers have any real players.”

Campbell emphatically pointed out that Curran was already 25 and likely doomed now that he would be playing for a team named after construction vehicles yet unable to build a major league roster.

Willoughby went on to point out that he felt the Connecticut Nutmeggers got a steal with pitcher Rick Whitney in the second round of the draft.  “He’s not much worse than Cisco Salgado, who was the second pick of the Rule V draft,” he declared.

“If he lasts beyond the 3^rd inning in any of his starts, it’ll be a miracle,” grumbled Campbell.

Willoughby‘s response was plain.  “He’s got four pitches that could play well enough, and worst comes to worst, they just throw him in the pen and let him learn from the rest of the team.  Why, who do you think had a good Rule V draft?”

“It’s Rule 5!” Campbell was practically shouting now.  “Obviously, it’s San Antonio!”

“What?  You’re kidding me!”  Willoughby’s surprise was genuine, his volume matching his counterpart’s.

“Of course, I’m not kidding you,” a triumphant Campbell responded.  “They got six players.  No one else got more than three.  The Calzones clearly had twice as good a draft as anyone else.  Salvador Díaz is a real l ife Swiss army knife.  He can throw anything at you.  Heck, he’s got so many different pitches he can throw, the catcher won’t have enough fingers to signal them all!”

“You know, that might be a problem for their catchers,” a now calm Willoughby pointed out.  “How are they gonna call all those pitches with only V fingers on his throwing hand?”

“Hmm… you’ve got a point there, Rick.”  Campbell was so taken aback he missed the numerical affront.  “I hadn’t thought of that.  Let’s go grab a pizza while I think this through.”

“Okay, win.  I’m gonna have V slices.”

“You are not!”

Bug Hurley is a freelance beat writer for The Shallot