She’s mighty tall, thought Slummings as a female officer escorted him from the Bulldozer front office out to the waiting patrol car. She towered over him like … like … Analogies escaped Slummings. The tall officer put her hand on top of Slummings’ head and pushed down while holding the black-and-white door open for him. […]
For one brief shining moment, the Yuma Bulldozer front office felt like home. For the duration of one deep breath, everyone in the office felt optimistic. For the first time in a long time, office workers stood shoulder to shoulder with a new manager, a new bench coach, a new acting General Manager and—most conspicuous […]
After a long silence, Emma Span finally spoke. She was trying NOT to laugh out loud. “Sooo … how much are you offering?” Even Roberta tittered at that. In the back seat Slummings’ smile grew even wider. If it grew any further, Roberta thought, he’ll disappear like the Cheshire Cat. Slummings pulled an old battery-operated […]
“How did you know who we are?” “I only know who one of you is,” the man with the salt-and-pepper beard in the backseat said. “And I don’t rightly know which is you is that one either,” he added, chuckling. “But how?” the woman driving the car asked. The other woman in the front seat […]
Roberta Tipitina was distracted by the news that David Goode was dead. Murdered. What was happening in Yuma? “Watch out!” Emma Span yelled, and Roberta recovered in time to keep the car from driving off the road. “What the hell are you doing?” “Sorry,” Roberta said. “I was just thinking.” “Well, cut it out! Leave […]
“Someone’s gonna pay, somebody is definitely going to pay …” Emma was muttering while they waited for her luggage. Roberta wasn’t sure if she was expected to respond—Emma had hardly looked in her direction when she exited the airport gate—but this was the woman who held the fate of the Bulldozers, including Roberta and […]
“WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO?” The voice leapt from the receiver. Roberta held it away from her head. Everyone in the front office stopped what they were doing and stared. “Hello, Emma,” Roberta said as calmly as she could. “HOW THE HELL DID YOU SCREW UP THE PLAYER OF THE YEAR AWARDS?” “Sorry, Emma, they […]
Somebody screwed the pooch. The message from the Commissioner’s Office was gentle, but none the less admonishing. Yuma had nominated an ineligible player for its Minor League Player of the Year Award. From: The Office of the Commissioner To: The Yuma Bulldozer Organization Re: Mathieu Bouchard Sirs, We would like to respectfully point out that […]
by Roberta Umor Yuma, AZ; 18 October 2029—In the absence of a General Manager, Asst. GM, Manager, Bench Manager and any owners, Roberta Tipitina took over day to day duties running the Yuma Bulldozer front office. Yuma’s GM is still residing 324 miles west of Yuma in the Camarillo State Hospital. The Assistant GM—former Asst. […]
by Roberta Umor Although no award will be given at the annual PEBAverse banquet this year, Yuma pitcher Vinnie de Brouwer deserves kudos for the PEBA record he set: 0 wins and 23 losses in 2029. Perfection, any way you look at it. A record that will likely stand for years to come. Vinnie escaped […]
