Slummings did not sleep well. He tossed, he turned, he had to get up to go to the bathroom, which required permission from the orderly assigned to the ward for the night, and then the young man insisted on escorting the white bearded owner of the Arroyos up the sloping hallway to the men’s room […]
He was steaming, my guest, this former indigent, homeless, street person who had somehow suddenly, inexplicably become rich enough to buy the Dozers! My Dozers! And he’d had the temerity to rename them some wish-washy name that I struggle to remember. Who gave him the right? His money, that’s who. Arroyos! That was the team’s […]
“Call me Ishmael,” he said, and then he laughed. More like an extended giggle. Perhaps a chortle or even … a chuckle. Who knows? I’m not good with words, not like I am with money, or was, once, which is what brought me here, to his door, for a meeting Roberta said was necessary, “inevitable” […]
“It’s a long story,” the burly man began as he adjusted his wire rim glasses, “but then most of them are, aren’t they?” “You wrote a few, didn’t you?” Slummings asked. “I seem to remember one about you and your wife and an African safari and a lion, wasn’t it?” “You remember that?” the burly […]
“Jesus comes, Jesus goes,” the security officer on Slummings’ right said. “And few bother to notice,” his partner on Slummings’ left added. Slummings thought it wise to tell the officers that a dozen or more people back in Yuma knew where he was, and they would very much bother to notice if he didn’t report […]
“That’s him! He’s the one pretending to be Jesus.” Not her again, thought Slummings when he noticed the old lady from the visitors’ room pointing at him. She was talking to a tall man in a uniform. “I’m not Jesus,” Slummings said, then turned to the uniformed man and explained, “She thought I was Jesus […]
“It’s Jesus!” a voice cried out. “He’s come back for us!” For a moment, Slummings had no idea where he was. Then he remembered the hospital, the visitors’ room, the need to find Mayberry and the old lady who persisted in mistaking him for the Second Coming. Ah, the Second Coming, Slummings thought to himself, […]
“I’m not Jesus.” The old lady studied Slummings. “Y’all look just like him.” “I don’t—” Slummings started to say. “Oh, yes,” the old lady insisted. “Just like. Sure you ain’t him?” “Quite certain.” The old lady was crestfallen. She shuffled back to her chair, mumbling as she went. “Fuckin’ fake Jesus, why the hell they […]
The train ride wasn’t what he expected. Camarillo wasn’t what he expected. The state hospital sure as hell wasn’t what he expected, and the greeting from the hospital staff was … well, suffice to say, he wasn’t expecting it. The looney-tunes behavior inside the hospital, now that was what he expected. While standing in the […]
After the Winter Meetings, after Gato’s great dream was granted, after Taffy Slummings proudly announced the new name of his ball club, the Arroyos, after favorite son Danny Burke came home to Yuma, and after Slummings returned to the familiar faces in the Front Office, he and his right hand woman, Roberta Tipitina, decided to […]
