3/31/2013: Arlington, VA – During the 2012 season, the Arlington Bureaucrats began planning stadium renovations to be conducted during the off-season.  With owner Daniel J. Woods’s disappearance on October 1, 2012, the development plans were put on hold.  As the calendar turned to December, it appeared that the construction plans would remain on ice until the conclusion of the investigation into the Senator’s whereabouts, possibly delaying them until after the 2013 season.

However, in accordance with Senator Wood’s living trust, control of the franchise was transferred to Elias Woods, the Senator’s son and named successor trustee.  Mr. Woods released the following prepared statement addressing his new responsibility within the organization:

“It is with great sadness that I carry out my duties according to my father’s wishes.  However, my father requested that business resume ‘as usual’ in the event that he was incapacitated and unable to administer the Arlington Bureaucrats directly.  Our first instruction is to continue on with the 2013 season and strive to bring a championship to Arlington.  With the direction to resume business matters for the organization, we will continue with plans to increase stadium capacity by 5,000 seats, to be ready by Opening Day 2013.  It is my sincere hope that my obligation will be brief and that my mother and father will be returned to us safely.”

The additional seating will include three new rows of premium box seats behind home plate, as well as an extension to the top two seating tiers in left field.  The bottom level of outfield seats will be unaltered to preserve the location of the visitors’ bullpen.  The new outfield upper deck seats will priced at $12 per ticket, while the new second deck seats will go for $18 per ticket.

Both bullpens will be renovated during construction, adding advanced outdoor climate control systems, heated benches and improved equipment storage.  Nets will also be installed above the visitors’ bullpen to prevent any items from being dropped or thrown down from the new seats being installed above.  The Bureaucrats’ bullpen will be fitted with an electronically operated door to allow the team’s bullpen car easier access to the field and should reduce the time it takes the home team to make a pitching change.

Pricing information for the premium box seats has yet to be announced, but is rumored to be around $200 per ticket.  Besides being the closest seats to the action, fans sitting in this new “Red Tape” section will be able to “check in” using their smartphones once the game begins.  After checking in, fans will be able to use an application on their phone to order refreshments to be delivered to their seats.

The “Red Tape” application can also be used to call up information on players.  Using the phone’s camera, fans can snap a picture of any player on the field.  The application will then perform facial and/or jersey recognition procedures to identify the player in question.  Once he is identified, the fan will be served with the player’s season and career statistics, as well as a plethora of official PEBA multimedia content that has been tagged for the player.  Want to know how many home runs Jason Guillén has hit against the opposing pitcher?  Quickly snap a picture of the pitcher to bring up his stats, including his splits against the Bureaucrats’ current lineup!  Or better yet, take a picture of Jason in the on-deck circle to bring up his numbers against the pitcher currently on the mound, as well as anyone warming up in the bullpen.

There are plans to expand the Red Tape app if it is a success early on in the season.  One proposal would allow fans to submit pictures captured at the game and enter them into a nightly competition that is announced when the game starts.  Topics could range from “Best Action Shot” to “Youngest ‘Crats Fan Wearing a Rob Raines Jersey”.  The app will be free to use but exclusive to fans with Red Tape tickets.

Season ticket packages for the Red Tape section went on sale at the start of spring training and can be purchased for the entire season or in 20-game blocks.  The team assures fans that they will enjoy an engaging and unique game experience in the new premium section that cannot be had at any other PEBA ballpark.  Don’t have a smartphone?  No worries – rental devices will be available at the stadium information desk and team store to ensure all Red Tape fans get the full experience.

– Beulah Tuttle of The Citizen