Alleghenies Tap Lang to Fill GM Role
After a long and exhausting search to find a qualified GM to take over the helm of the West Virginia Alleghenies, the search committee has given up and selected unknown Columbus, OH resident Bob Lang to the position. When asked why they settled on Mr. Lang, the Committee chairman simply shrugged and said “We were in Columbus, headed back to West Virginia when we decided to go the Casino and play some Blackjack. He (Lang) was at the table with us, we got to talking and asked if he wanted the job. Thank God he took it. We were, frankly, tired of looking.”
When pressed for how long they had searched for a GM, the committee chairman looked at his watch and replied, “The better part of this afternoon. Why?”
Very little is known of Mr. Lang and a Google search turned up nothing but an Ebay store filled with Furbies. We have found out that he is a 40 year old Ohio native. Born in Toledo, OH (no, he is not related to Jim Leyland) attended The Ohio State University, and lived in Ireland for the better part of year before moving to NYC and finally landing back in Columbus ten years ago. There is no history of baseball management on his resume and when pushed as to why he was qualified for the position, Mr. Lang was quick to answer.
“I’ve always been good at FIFA. After learning those controls, this should be easy.”
When informed that this wasn’t an actual video game, but a simulation he angered.
“Look, I’m a family man. Let’s watch your language.” Was all he said before turning and leaving the room.
“I’ve got a lot of work to get caught up on,” Mr. Lang shouted back as he shouted back from the doorway. “By the way, why are they called the Allegories?”