by Roberta Umor, Yuma Sun

November 20, 2011: Yuma, AZ — The ground shook and the entire Yuma Bulldozers roster trembled while big-bladed ‘dozers began moving some serious earth.  Public officials warned Yuma fans not to go snooping around the big hole carved in the ground outside the stadium.  Lotsa bodies buried there.

Heads started rolling and ballplayers panicked, sprinting for the Yuma foothills on the other side of the Colorado River in California, where they figured they would be safe.  But new Yuma GM Bob Swanfeld called in some favors from pit bosses in Vegas.  When every player over the age of 28 went missing, word spread that hitmen were in town.  Where those bodies are hidden, no one will ever know.

The Yuma GM assembled his remaining cast of children to rehearse their parts in a new play.  How he pulled it off, no one knows, but Swanfeld persuaded W. P. “Field of Dreams” Kinsella to leave Iowa and script an epic baseball play.  Some say Swanfeld exploited the Iowa connections he and Kinsella share.  Others say Swanny spent the entire Bulldozer contract extension budget for next year.  Kinsella was unavailable for comment.  Kinsella is always unavailable.  Kinsella may, in fact, be a figment of his own imagination.

Meanwhile, back at the ballpark, the children danced, Kinsella scribbled, Swanny smiled the smile of the surreptitious, and beyond the left field fence, the heavy diesel-snorting machines continued to bull and doze.