Roberta Umor, Yuma Sun

8 October 2019—Yuma, AZ: Yuma Mayor Douglas Nicholls expected it. Yuma Police Chief John Lekan had prepared for it. And down at Anna’s Mexican Food, owner and restauranteur Anna closed early because she too figured it was inevitable.

But the riots did not happen.

The Yuma Bulldozers were eliminated in the final playoff game at 7:35 on Monday evening, October 7th, and the police marched into the streets of the sleepy town ready to keep the peace. Anna hustled her regular patrons out the back door while the restaurant staff closed and locked the bars across the front door and windows.

Then … nothing happened. 

Disappointed Dozer fans did not pour out of the bars on 4th Street and begin taking their frustration out on shop windows. Stoned teenagers did not gather in Carver Park and dare each other to climb the trees or stop traffic. And no one marched on the Dozer ballpark to express their disappointment in graffiti.

The police waited. And waited.

And then went home, relieved. Mayor Nicholls declared Tuesday would be a city holiday—officially, to welcome the ball club back home, but privately acknowledging the real purpose was to cheer people up.

“I’ve never seen this town so depressed that it couldn’t organize a little street rioting,” Nicholls reportedly said to close friends when the anticipated riots didn’t materialize. “I don’t know what’s wrong with everyone, but we’ll cheer them up. Remind them of what a great season the Dozers had.”

The first playoff series in Bulldozer history came to a not-surprising end Monday night in Colorado, when, in the 6th inning of the fifth and final playoff game between the Aurora Borealis and Yuma, the Borealis took advantage of a Danny Burke misplay on a ground ball in front of the plate to score two unearned runs against Gunner MacGruder and eliminate the Yuman beings with a 3-1 victory.

Gunner, usually reluctant to speak to the press, answered questions after the game. When asked how he felt, MacGruder hung his head for a moment, then said, “Like a big horse turd floating down the Colorado River.”

Catcher Danny Burke, whose error gave the Borealis the extra out they needed in the sixth, was less cryptic in his remarks after the game. “I only wish—if I could do it over again—I mean, so much of this game depends on luck—but I don’t mean to blame my mistake on luck, not really, it’s just …”

Neither MacGruder nor Burke had anything more to say. Manager Ken Legere spoke for the whole club when he said, “Baseball is a game of inches. One inch here, another there, and it adds up to a whole lot of feet. The feet add up to yards and yards become miles and you think of all the miles this ball club has come to get this far. Well, we had our foot in the door back there, we were only inches from fame and fortune, but the door slammed shut and we all have sore toes now. You know what I mean.”

The winningest Bulldozer team in PEBA history will be honored in a ceremony tomorrow at noon in Yuma’s Historic District. The mayor promises a good time for all. “We’re gonna cheer our boys and cheer ourselves up in the process. It’s a win-win for Yuma.”

Large crowds are expected, at least by the mayor’s office, but not everyone will be there, not even all of the Dozer faithful. Longtime fan and full-time waitress at Anna’s Mexican Food, Lauraine Palm, told reporters she wouldn’t be at the ceremony because she was working the day shift. “But I’m not sure I’d want to be there anyway,” she said. “Having a winning team is a heavy burden. I’m not sure I’m ready for it yet. Maybe I need some time to lament the loss of the old Dozers, the losing Dozers. They made life easier somehow. This club, well, you gotta hope they can win it all next year, right? And that’s a might big disappointment you’re gonna face when they don’t.”

Her boss, restaurant owner Anna, nodded in agreement. “Winning, losing, I don’t care. Long as tables are full and food is good, life goes on.”