by Roberta Umor, Yuma Sun

April 1, 2012: Yuma, AZ — Just a few days after announcing a bold new plan to bring fans back to the John Deere Stadium in Yuma, General Manager Bob Mayberry has had to eat his own words and apologize to the PEBA Commissioner.

“We’ve made a mistake,” the Yuma GM admitted at a press conference last night.  “We overstepped our bounds.  I’m here to eat humble pie.”

He went on to detail revisions and downscaling of the ambitious plans to increase Yuma’s shrinking fan base, but reporters were more interested in the events that led up to the “mistake.”

“We published those plans before we had secured permission from the Commissioner’s office,” the GM added.  “Some of the plans involved changes in the PEBA schedule, which we were not authorized to make.”

When asked if the Bulldozers had intended to coerce the Commissioner into accepting the schedule changes by publishing them beforehand, Mayberry said no, that the early publication was unintentional.

How can publication be unintentional?  “Well,” the GM hemmed and hawed, “it seems the document was leaked to you guys, to the press, before we sent it to the Commish.”

When asked who leaked it, Mayberry reluctantly told the story.

“My former assistant, Bob Swanfeld, drafted the plans and then, while we were still making final revisions, leaked a copy to the press.”

The questions from reporters came fast and furious: Where was “former” assistant Swanfeld?  Who was the “Committee to Save the Yuma Bulldozers”?  Why was their name on the document as authors?  What happens next?

“He invented the Committee to Save the Yuma Bulldozers in order to leak the document,” Mayberry explained.  “He did such things, even using my name and title to aggrandize his role.  He counted on folks confusing us because we have the same first name.  On a few occasions,” Mayberry added with a hint of a smile, “he hoodwinked the press.”

In response to the denials his accusation received, the GM said, “I think most of you have at one time or another attributed a quote to Bob ‘Swanfeld’ Mayberry as if we were one and the same.”

While members of the press were searching their laptop databases to see if he was right, Mayberry went on.

“The Committee to Save the Yuma Bulldozers doesn’t exist – though maybe we should organize such a group to help build a fan base in Yuma.  We are going ahead with most of the proposals; only those involving scheduling will be revised.  The Commissioner was very supportive of our efforts, but he explained that changes to the schedule were not easy to make and not typically something his office negotiated with individual ball clubs.  We revised our plans accordingly.”

In response to questions about specific proposals in the original Fan Support document, the GM said, “We’ve changed two of our afternoon home games in July to early evening starts; 6:05 PM, to be precise, in order to avoid the midday heat.  We’re hoping that that will put some cool bodies in the seats,” he said, trying to make a feeble joke.

No one laughed.  They wanted to know about the other plans.

“We have had to abandon plans for Midnight Madness because of insurmountable problems,” Mayberry added.  “To begin with, we didn’t let the Yuma Police know of our intentions to delay start times so games would end near midnight.  Apparently, permits from the Department of Transportation are required for late night public events, and since our liquor license does not extend past midnight, the police simply denied us permission to hold fans after the witching hour.  So much for Midnight Madness.”

Mayberry was asked if the Bulldozers had new or alternate plans to boost support.

“I’ve assigned my new assistant, Pam Postema, to that task.  You’ll be getting a report from her soon enough.”  Then Mayberry added with a grin, “After the Commissioner reads it.”

Author of You’ve Gotta Have Balls to Make It in this League and the only woman to officiate a major league game, albeit in spring training, Postema was asked what brought her to Yuma.

“Sun and surf,” she said dryly.

When reminded that Yuma had only one of those qualities, Postema replied, “Then you’re batting .500.  Not bad.”

As the press conference wound down, GM Mayberry was asked what had happened to his former assistant Swanfeld, the man-behind-the-scenes.

“He’s been… uh… reassigned.  To our Kivalena club.  In Alaska.  He needs to chill out, so he’ll appreciate the change in climate.”