11/25/2009: Kyoto, Japan – Despite being on the job for little more than a week, Edo Battousai GM Noel Simmons is enduring harsh criticism from Japanese fans and press alike.  After initially describing his new team’s mascot as a “kind of fish”, Simmons was ordered by team officials to stop talking in public.  Unfortunately this mandate did not prevent Simmons from conducting trade talks with management of the Kuwana Steel Dragons.  The trade, which sent popular prospect Shimei Hanyuda to the Steel Dragons for relative unknown Hokusai Aoki, was met with scorn from fans that had looked forward to watching Hanyuda debut in the LRS after stardom in the college ranks.  Simmons defended the trade in a written statement that appears to have gone through some hasty revisions.

“First of all, what do these idiots know about running a team anyways?  They applauded that idiot Takada’s every move and look what it got them: 3 years of sustained mediocrity.  They know even less than those morons in the States.

“We completed the trade in order to accomplish two goals.  Firstly we traded what we felt to be equal prospects, gaining in a position of weakness in the middle infield and losing in a spot where we have many players.  (Seriously, can’t these imbeciles tell that we have 15 ML-ready outfielders and one ML-ready infielder??!!?!?!!)  Aoki is also two years younger than Hanyuda, hopefully giving him more potential upside.  Secondly we moved up three positions in the draft by pulling off the deal.  Our farm system is in poor shape (@!#@!#@!# Takada) and hopefully moving up to the 5^th position will enable us to acquire a player with greater potential impact.  Hopefully there will only be 5 good players in the draft and I will look like the genius I am.  Furthermore, the history of #8 draft picks is not exactly stellar, and it’s not as if our scouting director is gonna change things.”

In addition to this trade, Simmons also came under attack after Morhiro Nakamura, the “Emperor of Tokyo”, rebuffed his initial extension offer that was rumored to be in the neighborhood of 8 years and 45 million dollars.  Perhaps Nakamura will use his countless endorsement monies to buy the team and put an end to what looks to increasingly dismal career on the other side of the Pacific for Simmons.

Ed. Note: For Kuwana's take on this trade, please visit DragonBlog.