EXCLUSIVE: WHY THE COMMISH RESIGNED!

(April 3, 2017) — The NATIONAL ENQUIRER has learned the true reason for the abrupt resignation of PEBA Commissioner John Rodriguez: he was directed by the President of the United States to lead a battalion of other PEBA leaders fighting an alien invasion.

Sources tell the Enquirer that two months ago, at the start of the PEBA offseason, NASA, the CIA and the Department of Homeland Security received information that a covert alien invasion was underway.  The President quickly enlisted Rodriguez for the super-double-top-secret mission to thwart the aliens.

Rodriguez could not be reached for comment.  His spokesman claimed the former Commissioner was vacationing in the Chicago area.  We know this to be false.  Who vacations in Chicago, after all, especially in the summer?

Video game pioneerRichard Garriott, who once spent millions of his own money to fly into space, is certain the information about the invasion is correct.  “I have contacts on Mars,” he tells the Enquirer.  “They confirm everything.  If this isn’t for real then my name’s not Lord British.”

Below are actual super-double-top-secret information leaked to the Enquirer:

The command center to battle the alien invasion is based near PEBA headquarters in Asheville, NC.

Diagram of the base of operations.

Rodriguez initally enlised five other PEBA leaders– Paul Tanner, Will Topham, Jason Warnke, Denny Hills and incoming Commissioner Dan DiVicenzo to join him in the first mission.  Note than other crew members are designated only as “Red Shirts” — as they are the first off the Skyranger as the search for aliens begins.  Lucky guys.

Interceptors gives pursuit of an alien craft.

The former Commish in his new role — Commander of X-Com!

The crew arrives at the crash site and prepares to disembark.

The UFO is spotted.

Red Shirts One, Two, Three and Four are dispatched to investigate.  The PEBA leaders take cover.

The first known photograph of an alien, hiding in a closet no less.

Red Shirts One, Two and Three are gunned down.  Good thing we never knew their names.

Red Shirt Four begs for permission to flee.  The PEBA leaders tell him to get back in there.

The National Enquirer anticipates having more exclusive photographs of the attempt to thwart the alien invasion in our next issue!