11/19/2010: Bakersfield, CA – The Bakersfield Bears had it all figured out.  After being in salary hell as the result of the 2007 inaugural PEBA draft – more than $20 million in debt after the 2007 season, more than $10 million in debt after the 2008 season and barely eking out a profit in 2009 – the Bakersfield Bears looked to have approximately $26 million in the bank for free agents following the 2010 season.  What was that about the best laid plans?

No matter how you cut it, the 2010 season was a disaster for the Bears at the ticket office.  Some blame an underachieving squad that scuffled to finish barely above .500.  Others blame the fickle fans, who have grown tired of a team good enough to make the playoffs every year but that never seems to be able to get over the hump.  Others blame the economic meltdown that has battered the nation's economy.  And they are all right.  But the Bears management believes at least part of the problem was the work of Ryan Swollen, Bakersfield’s Head of Promotions.

A review of the fan promotions the Bears offered as the 2010 season wound down indicates that they may be on to something.  Looking at the promotions for those games, it is hard to know whether Bakersfield was trying to entice people to come out to the ballpark or purposely attempting to keep them away in droves.  Here’s a recap:

September 21 vs. Reno: Bake McBride Bobblehead Night.  For the fourth straight year, the Bears featured a Bake McBride bobblehead for all kids 14 and under.  And for the fourth straight year, Mr. McBride respectfully declined to appear by ignoring numerous calls from Bears management requesting his presence.  None of this is surprising when one considers McBride never played in the Bears’ system and has no connection to the Bakersfield area.

September 22 vs. Reno: Free Poncho and Galoshes Set to First 50 Fans.  This was a late addition to the schedule, as the goods were obtained by Mr. Swollen at an abandoned freight auction the day before the game.  Considering the fact that the ponchos were all sized XXXL and the galoshes were Smurf-themed and size 3-EEE, it is no wonder that this promotion did not pack Jonas Field.

September 23 vs. Reno: Tin Men Night.  After the game, all fans in attendance were welcomed to stay to watch the movie Tin Men, directed by Barry Levinson, on the big screen at Jonas Field.  All fans who dressed up like their favorite Tin Men character received half-off all hot dog purchases.  Unofficial surveys indicated that 94% of those present had never even heard of the movie.

September 24 vs. Aurora: Howard Good Beach Towel Night.  The first 10,000 fans received their own full-length beach towel with a picture of Bears starting pitcher Howard Good.  Given that Good is a journeyman who is relatively unknown even in Bakersfield, this did not result in a frenzy of ticket purchases.

September 25 vs. Aurora: Jack Cobb Art Appreciation Night.  The Bears offered $1.00 off tickets for every short story, film or work of art dedicated to, or informed by, the life of former Bears’ shortstop Jack Cobb.  Because only the criminally insane would spend a moment thinking about, let alone submitting a creative tribute to Cobb, only 13 submissions were received.

September 26 vs. Aurora: Gene Wilder Look-alike Night.  For the first time, the Bears honored the last game of the season at the Chocolate Factory with a Gene Wilder Look-alike Night, complete with the tagline “Dreams do come true at the Chocolate Factory”.  Unfortunately, only one person entered the contest.  He was later determined to actually be Gene Wilder.