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Official 2009 Smack-Talking Thread

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:37 am
by Ghosts
ok, i'll start.

rumor has it that aurora's recent experience with injuries is direct karmic pay-off for being so much damn better at this game than the rest of us (though we in bakersfield would give our left arms -- both of them -- to have taken the time to fully understand the contract ramifications of the 2007 inaugural draft, etc. ... man, doesn't that draft seem like forever ago?)

anyhow, thankfully, for the bears, those injuries also may mean that the mercy rule for the series may not be invoked sometime in the 7th inning of game 2.

Re: Official 2009 Smack-Talking Thread

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 12:55 am
by John
@ the Bears: Your mothers dress you funny, and you fathers smell of elderberries! Go boil your bottoms in oil, sons of silly persons!

Re: Official 2009 Smack-Talking Thread

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 8:33 am
by Ghosts
Borealis - Commissioner wrote:@ the Bears: Your mothers dress you funny, and you fathers smell of elderberries! Go boil your bottoms in oil, sons of silly persons!
hey aurora! when are you going to tell the american people THE TRUTH about how kobayashi got injured? we've got the video, and the sworn affidavits, and if you choose not to be honest (and LET US WIN THE SERIES), we're going to blow this thing wide open.

Re: Official 2009 Smack-Talking Thread

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:02 am
by John
I'm actually thinking the insane rash of injuries to Aurora players may have something to do with our team's training method. Think about it: even owner John Rodriguez, Sr. got injured in the training room. Maybe we need to be doing less strength and more flexibility exercises? Maybe the old coot was pushing people (including himself) too hard?

It's either that, or somebody on the Borealis took a swig of Jobu's rum. :-o

Re: Official 2009 Smack-Talking Thread

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:41 am
by Hitmen
I think you hired A-Roid as your trainer

Re: Official 2009 Smack-Talking Thread

Posted: Wed Feb 25, 2009 9:02 pm
by Ghosts
Borealis - Commissioner wrote:I'm actually thinking the insane rash of injuries to Aurora players may have something to do with our team's training method.
AND I QUOTE Bakersfield trainer, Dr. Glenn "Face" Harris:

"I have never had an athlete stretch before making a root beer float, I have never had any one on my team stretch before frying a hush puppie or a single clam strip and that is what I bring to the table.” It only got worse from there. “I don't believe in exercise," Glenn Harris recently exclaimed when questioned about the team’s poor conditioning."

Let us win and we'll share all of our training secrets.