The Bulldozers are Building

[Arroyos]

The Yuma Baseball Youth Association recently got some help from a very special source. Said GM Jared Dobney, "Yeah, we figured we'd give the kiddos a place to play. Who knows, maybe some of them will be good enough to make the bump to the majors soon. Couldn't hurt us.” Dobney kept on rubbing the sore spot of the worst win-loss record in the league by stating, "About time these guys actually do some work and see a result."

Shortstop Daniel Groves stated, rather bluntly, "I'm too good for this crap. Why should I care about these kids? I hate this place because it smells of taco dip and horse [affiliated items].” Groves then stated, after a heated discussion with the GM, "Forget what I said earlier. I love it here," then walked away cursing. We won't forget it, Danny, unless your average comes up a few dozen points.



Unlike his loathsome double play partner, second baseman Bud Hoffman actually seemed to be enjoying himself during the project. Hoffman said he once met former New York Mets star Keith Hernandez in his youth and the experience changed him for life. "Yeah that dude was a total [donkey]-hole... first he hit on my mom for a while, then he smoked me in the head with a line drive.” Almost as if to prove that he was, in fact, marred by the screamer off the bat of Hernandez, Hoffman put on a Chris "The Party Boy" Pontius-esque beat and danced rather provocatively with a rake, much to the chagrin of all involved. "Yeah, I love giving back and I think most of my teammates do too. Except for Groves... gosh that guy is a ninny."

The newest addition to the team, RF Gordon Kerr, also gave us a piece of his mind: "I don't know what's going on, honestly. [GM Jared] Dobney picked me up from the airport when I came in and said we had something to do really quickly. He gave me a shovel and we ended up here.” Kerr walked away with a quizzical look on his youthful, switch-hitting face. Welcome to the big leagues, kid.

The youth sure enjoyed the new digs when the evening unveiling came along. One kid said it was the "best off-season work" he'd heard of from the team. "Usually in the off-season they sit around in the bars crying," stated local 9-year-old 1st baseman Raul Santosavich, "but today they actually got up and did something. Something they can be proud of for once."