Confusing Bill - a Game?

[Duane]

November 6, 2008 - Pre-Winter Meeting dinner with Bill
Rusty Knobbs, Bluegrass Roundup

I have a special treat for y'all this day. I was honored to have a moment in time with the infamous Bill "give us all another" Shatner. The last time I spoke with Bill he refused to be interviewed but rather shoot from the hip, so I will try to get his message across as best as I can interpret from my drunkin notes. I met Bill for dinner at the now defunct Bennigan's. Bill was dressed well, white turtleneck, gray sports coat (with elbow patches), navy Dockers, and white loafers. When I walked in he was giving away autographed Thoroughbred hats to the waitresses and busgirls. I found it strange that he was actually autographing hats but as usual with Bill, I was completely taken by surprise ... he was giving away hats with Josh Emery's signature. Now we all know that Emery wants out of Kentucky but there haven't been any rumors of a trade. I asked Bill what's up with the give-away and he told me that he had to clean up some space in his private collection ... who am I to question that?

I asked Bill where we would be sitting and he said 'right here', implying we were to sit at the bar ... for dinner? Probably a liquid dinner, as I know Bill all too well. As I chose my stool and watched Bill continue his flirtatious and suggestive generosity, the bartender had placed in front of me a glass of water and what appeared to be a small fishbowl filled with a turquoise concoction. I didn't realize the one on the table in front of Bill was his. Ok I guess Bill found his pleasure for the evening. I proceeded to ask the 5'8" blonde bartender for a tapper of Sam, but she refused as she was directed by Bill to provide us with the fishbowls only. Well, I guess it's water or blue-stuff. I take my first sip. Unusually sour yet salty-sweet, I think to myself. I take a drink of water and turn to see Bill is now at the busgirl station stacking plates while he flirts with a young busgirl. I turn back towards the bar and ask for a menu. Again the bartender refuses, giggling as she turns away to serve another customer.

I try a second taste from the fishbowl ... still unusually sour and sweet, the salty flavor has passed, probably due to the ice melting. I take another drink of water and the bartender stops to refil my glass, still giggling as if I am the brunt of some joke in progress or about to happen. I take my third drink, I can hear Bill cracking jokes and laughing loudly. I turn and see him now at the hostess station ... he must be out of hats as his bag lies on a bech in the waiting area. I take another drink, the bartender stops to ask how I like the drink. I think to myself, hey, the sour-salty-sweet taste is gone, now it tastes like cool-aid with a hint of coconut. I smile at the bottie behind the bar as if suggesting that I am really enjoying the fishbowl.

Bill taps me on the shoulder just as a plate of food arrives. We exchange pleasantries as Bill places his empty bowl on the bar motioning for a refil for both of us. I pick up my bowl and proceed to finish it as Bill takes his seat next to me. The bartender delivers 2 more fishbowls, as Bill begins the conversation with a question - how do I feel about having a new closer in Kentucky? Do I think Felipe Gomez or Jamie Castillo are ready to close games in Kentucky? I think to myself that this appitizer (like a bloomin onion) is awesome. I reply after taking a sip from the new fishbowl, Bill, Gomez has only a few months under his belt and Castillo has had only one season at AAA ... how could they possibly be ready??? An what's wrong with Lozano, he is already signed though 2009 and has been a rock in the pen??? Bill tries to explain with some fancy financial mumbo-jumbo that even though he has increased the budget he wants to keep player expenses low. I am still confused, the bullpen has been the only bright spot on this team why break it up? Bill makes some gestures in my direction and, as he lifts his fishbowl, exclaims that we must drink to the successful season GM Rudis has turned in.

I am completely bewildered as to what the heck Bill is talking about and why am I here. Before I can say anything is response, plates of food arrive, and how cute that they have the Thoroughbred logo decoratively arranged from the asparagus. And of course another fishbowl for each of us. After eating this pleasant dish of veggies and pasta I rurn and say "Bill, I must ask you ... why am I here? You can drink with anyone." Bill babbles something about the advice I gave and that the bartender is really 'hot', as he kisses her hand. We again drink the fishbowls and pretty much everything after that point is a blur, both in my mind and on my note pad. Not sure what I did or why we had to meet. I do know that Bill wants the blonde bartender and that Lozano appears to be on the way out. Bill, if you are reading this ... what am I missing?????

[John]

I just want to say that it's getting harder and harder to find ways to link Bill Shatner's name... but I think I came up with a good one this time.

[Duane]

awesome .... I want the 'green' girl!!!!!!! humminna humminna