Codgers Prepare for Playoffs With Excitement, Trepidation

[Denny]

By Granville Price, Palm Springs Semaphore
October 2, 2008

Palm Springs Codgers general manager Denny Hills should be brimming with excitement as his club prepares to take on the Crystal Lake Sandgnats in the first round of the Planetary Extreme Baseball Alliance playoffs. Instead, he sits slumped at his desk, his head buried in his hands.

"We don't have the smallest shred of a chance," he says with a mournful smile. "We're going to get our heads beat in."

Pundits generally agree that the Codgers underperformed in the regular season. According to Pythagorean Expectation (a formula developed by baseball sabermetrician Bill James which is based on the number of runs scored compared to the runs allowed), the team should have won 100 games this year. Instead, they won just 93 and stumbled to the finish line, going just 12-15 during the month of September and not securing a playoff spot until the very last day of the regular season.

Not helping matters were injuries to reliever Eric Roberts and first baseman Gilberto Ibarra. Both will be lost for the remainder of the playoffs, with Ibarra likely to miss a significant portion of the 2009 season as well.

This last news is what has GM Hills despondent. "I mean, we only went 3-12 against Crystal Lake during the regular season--and now we have to do it without one of our top offensive and defensive players? I just don't see..." His voice trails off, eyes brimming with tears.

In the clubhouse the mood is lighter.

"We may not have done well against them in the regular season, but it's a new world now," said All-Star outfielder Michael Smith. "In a short series like this anything can happen."

And as usual, #1 starter Felipe Lara was brimming with confidence.

"I looked over their lineup and they don't really impress me," he said breezily. "I mean, they have to use a retread like Mark Frazier--we let him go after last year because he was over the hill." Frazier played right field for Palm Springs in 2007.

"Don't listen to our sissy general manager--he is always crying like some girl, it makes you wonder why. This series is going to be so easy I don't even have to start the first game!" he continued. Lara is slated to start Game 2 in Crystal Lake, rather than Game 1, so that he gets the proper number of rest days between starts.

"Then me and Tattoo (#2 starter Jorge 'Tattoo' Gallegos) come in like the secret weapons. One-two! Pow-pow!" He punctuated this remark with a flurry of punches at an imaginary assailant and smiled.

"Yeah, I'm already looking forward to the next series. This one is like 98 percent for sure."

[Tyler]

That Codgers clubhouse sure is one upbeat place.

[John]

We seriously need to hear more from Felipe Lara. I love that guy.