Catfight at the County Park

[Hitmen]

by Tony Contralto, La Cosa Newstra

August 23, 2008
Mercer County Waterfront Park –
Details are finally beginning to emerge about a disturbance in one of the new luxury boxes that occurred last week. During the Hitmen’s 6-1 loss to New Orleans on August 13th, police were seen escorting two individuals from the luxury suites during the 7th inning stretch. Until this morning, the identities of the two have been kept under wraps; however, documents received this morning by La Cosa Newstra named the individuals as Jessica Biel and Christina Milian. Biel, the girlfriend of New Jersey left fielder Cal Edwards, and Milian, the wife of recent Hitmen acquisition Oscar Holloway, were both in the ballpark and spending time in the owner’s box.

Biel, whose boyfriend was still on the disabled list at the time, is known around the park as a competitive woman, and according to the police report, Jessica began to “comment loudly on the failures of the team” as the Hitmen gave up 4 first inning runs. Milan took exception to those comments, and told Jessica that “she didn’t know just how good she had it”, referencing Milan and Holloway’s apparent frustration with their earlier struggles in Canton.

Sources have confirmed that while the two were quickly separated, tensions quickly resumed in the middle of the game as Milan could be overheard observing to her companions that “some people are just spoiled.” Biel quickly responded by noting that while her boyfriend was injured and unable to help New Jersey escape from their 5-game losing streak, Milan’s mate was part of the problem, having lost three days earlier to the slumping London Underground.

A fight quickly erupted with several bystanders suffering minor cuts and scrapes. According to park employees who have asked not to be identified, both Biel and Milan exchanged body blows, as apparently neither star wanted to risk visible injuries to hair or faces. Nevertheless, state troopers were called to the suite to ensure that no further violence erupted.

Neither Biel nor Milan would discuss the matter directly, although both camps have issued statements through their respective agents. According to Biel’s manager, “Jessica has nothing but the utmost respect for both Christina and Oscar, and simply let her competitive spirit get the better of her. She and Christina quickly put this unfortunate incident behind them and have moved on.”

Milan’s agent also indicated that the matter was settled. “Christina has acknowledged her part in the episode and both she and Jessica consider it over and unimportant. The two have exchanged apologies and have remained in close contact over the past few days.”

Cal Edwards, who is expected to return tomorrow against Florida, felt the event was a non issue. “Look, my focus is on getting back to the field and getting back to first place. We’ve gone 7-2 since that losing streak, and we’ve got to finish out this month strong. Jessica is a big girl, she can handle herself, and as far as I’m concerned, there’s no problems with me and Oscar and Christina, or me and Jessica, or anything like that at all.”

Oscar Holloway, 5-1 with the Hitmen since his trade from Canton, agrees. “It’s been no secret that there were some difficulties between Christina and me after the trade. Luckily for me, she has decided not to exercise her pre-nuptial agreement and has agreed to move from Canton and join me here in New Jersey. We are excited to be part of a playoff run, and we’ve all agreed to move forward and not look back.”

New Jersey manager Tracy Evans also feels that the fight will have no lasting effect in the clubhouse. “Oscar and Cal are both professionals, both competitors, and both gunning for a championship. They are both fiercely loyal not only to their families but also to their teammates, and Cal has been a presence in our clubhouse even while injured. I don’t expect anyone to even think about the incident, much less have it cause any problems. Our focus remains on the push for the postseason.”

With no deals made at the trade deadline, and no rumored waiver deals pending, the Hitmen must look within their current organization to overcome the 2 game lead of the Arlington Bureaucrats in the Pan-Atlantic division.

[Sandgnats (Bill)]

Fine article Matt! Excuse me for being a pig, but I want to see

PICS

[John]

Fine article Matt! Excuse me for being a pig, but I want to see

PICS

Your wish is granted! (sort of)

So I have to wonder, now that Matt has written Christina Millian over to New Jersey after Brad had here hanging back in Canton after the trade, will there be retaliation? Will Brad have a written response? I want to see a tug-of-war erupt over Millian here.

[Sandgnats (Bill)]

I want to see a tug-of-war erupt over Millian here.

I bet most of us would like to erupt over Millian!
-Rim shot

[Hitmen]

Fine article Matt! Excuse me for being a pig, but I want to see

PICS

Your wish is granted! (sort of)

So I have to wonder, now that Matt has written Christina Millian over to New Jersey after Brad had here hanging back in Canton after the trade, will there be retaliation? Will Brad have a written response? I want to see a tug-of-war erupt over Millian here.

All I know is that with the trade, I was told I had the responsibility to write about Milian now