Biggest. Trade. Ever.

[Coqui]

Monday, July 14, 2008
by Frank Terry, Canton Repository

Well, we all knew this was coming. At some point Oscar Holloway and his wife were going to leave us. Oscar makes a lot of money (you can Google it) and Canton GM Brad Dobney is notoriously tight-fisted. So it became apparent Oscar would have to leave us at some point in order to bring some money to this franchise. In some bizarre twist, we obtained the trade diary of the GM for a glimpse into his mind. (Actual analysis and reasoning at the bottom)

Sat, July 12th: Well, I just lined up a trade for our catcher of the future. It's a good feeling. I think I need some more things of the future. Oscar Holloway has a wife of the future .... Where was I?

Sat, July 12th: Three offers on Holloway came in this afternoon. The deadline is fast approaching and we aren't going anywhere this year. (It hurts to write that). I need to do something to get some talent in here for the future. I like this future idea.


Sat, July 12th: And then there were two... [Edited for privacy] has made me a good offer. The best part of that offer is that it would reveal Bryan to be the idiot he is. This is intriguing. Let me see here.

Sat, July 12th: Looks like one strong contender now. The "humiliate Bryan" contender. I could add a starter, a utility man and a promising OF and cut about $6 million. That looks really good right now. I do wish that some of those extra dollars weren't there.
Sat, July 12th: So if some of those dollars come off, I can make this deal. I'll give the other owner a chance but I can't see him topping this. I feel good. I do hope Oscar doesn't cancel our Spring Break plans. Oh, honestly, who cares about him anyway?

Sun, July 13th: I care about Oscar, that's who! What am I going to do for a pitching staff without him? Cox? Hurt. Sewell? Sucks. Guillén? ... Ok, I like him. Smith? Older than dirt. McGillivantic? ... He's not bad either. Maybe this won't be so bad. I can do this.

Sun, July 13th: Diaries are kind of lame. I just realized that.

Mon, July 14th: So this guy says he can top any other offer I have seen? Let's see, I'll say something ridiculous...

Mon, July 14th: ... and he's open to it. This is getting interesting. I may see if I can get some money from him too.

Mon, July 14th: So it comes to this: Oscar has to go. I love him as a pitcher. He's relatively young, he dominates and he is under contract. The sad fact is that I cannot afford this contract. New Jersey needs him for the stretch run and beyond and, well, we don't. He's wasted here but he will never again have value like this. We added Bagg, Rishworth, Knight and Coury plus a pick and some cash. We rebuild without completely gutting the team and we get another pick (plus one we added in the just-completed Reynolds deal), and all of that for about a third of what Oscar made. I hated to do it but it had to be done. Our financial situation improves and we get young talent. It happens all the time. I just hate to be the one to do it.

Now, to get Cliche and make Bryan look like an idiot... That would feel so good.