A Crock of Gunt: Spring Training Special
KOA Radio 650
March 7, 2037: Grand Junction, Colorado - Today Aurora’s broadcast team of Mark Gunter and George Crocker welcome the Aurora Borealis to their spring training facility as the club begins preparation for the 2037 campaign.
Crock: Baseball… we're gonna watch Baseball, and we're gonna watch it every day and in the middle of the night, we're gonna watch Baseball – sing it with me ‘Money’!
Gunt: George, you are doing a wonderful job of singing for the two of us… Not… Welcome everyone to the 2037 Aurora Borealis baseball season and our first episode of a ‘Crock of Gunt’! I’m your host Mar…
Crock: And I’m George Crocker – All-Star outfielder for the Kalamazoo Badgers and MVP of the Bogata Caribs! Isn’t it glorious?? Look how beautiful the fields are!
Gunt: Ummmmmm… George, the fields are covered with snow.
Crock: Better yet – batting practice with snow balls! Imagine how the pitchers can both throw BP and ice their arms down at the same time!! It’s a scientific break-though – unless the F-heads have been doing that all along, which explains their success! Stealing ol’ George Crockers ideas…
Gunt: I’m pretty sure that would be a disaasterous plan…
Crock: All the better!! Here – steal my ideas Florida! You can be the Frozen Fart-riders – now THAT has a nice ring to it, don’t you think Markie-Mark?
Gunt: We will never know, George, unless Drew Streets is able to push through that inter-league play plan he’s been hawking. Let’s hope that never happens. Aurora-Florida demands that it’s for the Rodriguez Cup only.
Crock: True-true, but how great would it be to put West Virginia in their place and teach them the lessons they failed to learn in 2030? To watch Rocky Nichols earn a Golden Sombrero against ‘Professor Plum’? Or witness a ‘Machete’ taking down some Claymores? Classic moments I say – CLASS-ic… there are some Classic Moments out there Guntie!!
Gunt: Exciting… Today folks we have a number of guests lined up to talk with us about the coming season, last season, or just what’s going on with life. For starters, let’s start with your manager of the Aurora Borealis – Michel Provost.
Crock: CHOO-CHOO chugachugachugachugachugachuga… CHOO CHOO chugachugachugachugachugachuga… CHOO CHOO…
Provost: Thank you George for the colorful introduction, I’m sure our younger fans…
Crock: It’s a ‘Train Arollin’’ Boys and Girls and Midnight Pals – a ‘Train Arollin’’ I say. Don’t let rumor mongers and conspiracy theorists tell you it was that Lupin GM Ron… Cooper? Cranston? Calloway – wait, no – that’s what I hit on the fairway into the water – every time. EV-ER-RY-TI-MMME. Any whosit, it was me! I, George Crocker, came up with that name. Just call me the nickname master, for I…
Provost: George, it doesn’t matter… To be honest, I’ve never ridden a train before.
Crock: (silence)
Gunt: Great. So tell us, Mike, what was your experience running the club like last year? You had the job for a little more than half the year, and after a slow start, you finished 49-38. Considering the club was struggling at .500 when you came aboard…
Crock: ALL ABOARD!! Hop on the P-Train – that’s the Provost Train, taking us to Title Town!!
Provost: (looks at Crocker and rolls his eyes) Having the previous six seasons down in the minors under my belt definitely was a plus – being familiar with even a few players I’d managed previously was a comforting thing – well that, and just feeling back at home in the dugout at Northern Lights. I won’t promise any titles, but I do feel like if we had just played a bit better when I first came on, I think we might have been a whole lot closer to Reno than we finished.
Crock: Oh-oh-oh-OH – I have a question – a real question! What were you most impressed with last season? See Marco Polo – Real Question, Real Depth!
Provost: That is a good question George. I think the play of our younger players. Most of them really had stand-out seasons. Angel Silva, for instance. He hit .326 and had 200- (203) hits – he missed leading the Sovereign League by one hit. He showed some good patience at the plate. He can hit. He can run. He can field – he’s a dynamic player.
Gunt: Not only that, in a stat that is hard to believe, he was only the fourth Aurora player to reach 200-hits – behind some big names: Steve ‘Old’ McDonald, Al Edwards, and Chris Weaaver.
Provost: Jose Aleman is another young guy you have to love. He had a great rookie year the previous season (2035), but there was no sophomore slump in him. David Simmons had a fine season and provided us with some desperately needed power. Silva, Aleman and Simmons really drove the offense, they were three of our top four in OPS. David could play better defense, but for now… we just need to learn to live with it.
Gunt: What disappointed you?
Provost: I would have hoped that ‘Matchbox’ showed up earlier in the season. His final numbers looked good enough, but most of that was stretch drive work, when we were basically out of the hunt.
Gunt: How about the pitching?
Provost: In general? As a whole, it was a down year – and I know that was hard for our fans to swallow – the past certainly has set a very high bar. Batista struggled down the stretch and that seems to have set a sour taste in his mouth that he’s brought to the bargaining table. I don’t want to get involved in all that, but I worry about his focus going into spring training. Cluett just lost his mojo and seemed – pardon the expression, clueless. Even ‘Slug’…
Crock: ‘Professor Plum’ with the rosin bag on the mound – does that sound about right?
Provost: I’ll have to look into that George... The ‘pen was, for the most part, very solid.
Gunt: Speaking of the ‘pen – and pitching in general, where do you stand on the changes that have occurred thus far? There looks like the turnover that seemed inevitable has come to fruition.
Crock: Neely-Morales-de Kook – Quality arms…. Quality arms I say – best of the lot; hard to replace. Minimally they are a classic law firm! Imagine that as a tv series, ‘Law and de Kook’, representing cooks needing representation – is your mirepoix just not right? Neely, Morales, and de Kook are there for you!!
Gunt: Ladies and Gentlemen… Thank you George for that commercial break… (pause) As I was saying, Mike….
Provost: Change is a necessary evil – I think we all in this business recognize that. Richard gave a lot to this organization and at 34-years, his time came up. We have young Victorio Guerra, who looks ready for the Bigs – and we plan; hope to give him every chance to prove it. Maybe it’s Ryan Tate’s turn to stay in the rotation? I know he’s pitched in all situations and he deserves a chance for stability. Then there’s Man Sim, but I think his fate will remain as the primary swingman – a job he has excelled at.
Gunt: And Morales and de Kook? They’ve been trusted members of the ‘pen.
Provost: It’s kind of the same story. Toshikuni Kichida and Abay Icharia have shown they have nothing left to prove in the minors, and it really came down to roster space. To keep them with Aurora, two bodies needed to go. We could have sent them – or others, to the minors – but Pedro and Paul don’t deserve that fate. We will see if what the club got in return will help us out down the line. Meanwhile, I plan on talking with ‘Werewolf’…
Crock: Werewolf? WEREWOLF? What about a Wolfman? A Mummy? What’s next? Frankenstein??
Provost: (sighs) I was planning on talking to Toshikuni about the possibility of starting – especially after his work at winterball to add another pitch to his repertoire. The scouts rate his stamina just as they did Randy’s – and we know how he did as a starter… In any event, I feel like our bullpen should be stronger – and any starting experiment aside, Kichida and Icharia, combined with Gutierrez, Twia and Howard, give us five potential closers. I feel confident about shortening the game if we can get through 5-innings with a lead.
Gunt: So it sounds like aside from the three pitchers who have been replaced, the 26-man roster will look the same as last season?
Provost: Certainly the outfield will remain the core-four plus Hernandez at DH – though I really would like to see more out of Tony Munoz – he had tremendous promise, but has failed to produce. His roster spot is going to be in jeopardy if one of our minor league invitees lights it up this spring – especially if Stewart continues to be the steady player he was against RH and LH pitching. The infield and infield rotations look to remain the same as well. Our big problem is we will need to send someone down from the infield if we are to open the year with a 13-13 split on the roster.
Gunt: What are you anticipating the most this season?
Provost: Hmmmmmmm… I’d say a full season of Ruben Ortega at second. This club has struggled to find a 2B who balanced a strong offensive flair with a strong defensive performance – we had McDonald for the first 10-years followed by ‘Gypsy’ John for the next 6-years, but beyond that? We’ve had 9 different starting 2B on opening day. Arguably Eddie Madore has been the best. So, yeah – Ruben is going to be 27 and could have a lengthy stay here if he gives us the kind of offense he showed flashes of in Kentucky. If not, his defense will become a liability. I’ve asked him to come out early and put in the extra time at second working on his footwork and his throws on balls to his right – those proved to be a struggle in the small sample we had last year.
Gunt: I think that’s aptly stated. Well folks, I think we have to let Michel go and get to work. Thanks Mike for taking some time to chat with us – and good luck with the upcoming season.
Provost: Your welcome, Mark. It’s always a… pleasure to sit down with the two of you. How long has it been?
Crock: 27! Mark-a-roonie and I have been together for a hot – and I mean H-O-T, Hot, 27-years. Name a team that’s better than that! Just wait until we hit 30 – we’re going to celebrate like mad – maybe a trip along the Appalachian Trail – I’ve always wanted to do that!
Gunt: George… never mind. Yes, Mike, 27… long... years. That said, it’s been an… interesting 27-years.
Provost: I can only imagine…
Gunt: Folks, stick with us, after we hear from our sponsors, we’ll be back with Paul Carlisle, recently promoted to manager at SLRC, and Randy Smith, who will be in his second season as pitching coach at Gatineau. They will update us on the happenings at the minor league camp.
Crock: Come on Marky – sail way with me to Mexico – I’ve got lots of friends down there!
Gunt: That’s a hard pass, George…
