Arroyos Investigate Rumors Surrounding Dole Disappearance

[Arroyos]

Arroyos Investigate Rumors Surrounding Dole Disappearance

December 14, 2033: Yuma, AZ—The Yuma Arroyos Office Manager, Roberta Tipitina, in the absence of both owner Taffy Slummings and GM Bob Mayberry, held a press conference today at the Yuma Water Refinery, owned by the Colorado River Water Consortium, whose principal stockholder is Taffy Slummings. Ms. Tipitina offered the Arroyo organization’s condolences to the family of Charles Dole IV, who has been missing since he toured the refinery earlier this week. She also clarified erroneous reports in the Crystal Lake press that Taffy Slummings hosted the refinery tour where Dole was last seen.

Mr. Slummings, according to Ms. Tipitina, was unable to attend the tour because he is currently visiting the Arroyo GM Bob Mayberry, a long time resident of the Camarillo State Mental Hospital in California. “The Crystal Lake Herald just got it wrong,” Ms. Tipitina claimed.

Howard Reskin, beat writer for the Crystal Lake Sandgnat ballclub, quoted Slummings’ grandson, Christopher Slummings, as having said that, in fact, his grandfather Taffy Slummings was indeed at the refinery for the tour and in fact spent most of the tour in conversation with Mr. Dole. Ms. Tipitina claimed to have no knowledge of her boss having a grandson. “It’s possible,” she admitted, “given the somewhat dubious life the man has led, but Taffy Slummings has never mentioned a living relative nor does his personnel file include such a person.”

The Yuma County sheriff brought an end to the press conference, saying that the Sheriff’s Department would investigate the matter further and report whatever they learned. Their initial focus will be on locating and questioning the individual claiming to be Taffy Slummings’ grandson. As of yet, no such person has been identified. Howard Reskin was detained for further questioning regarding his interview of Christopher Slummings.

Meanwhile, the American Business Women’s Association of Yuma has donated $10,000 to assist the Somalian taskforce in their search for the missing Dole patriarch. “This is disturbing news,” ABWA President Kerrie Underhill said. “Yuma keeps losing people! We’ve had a missing GM for the Arroyos for years now. Today I learn our owner is missing, as well as a visiting dignitary from Colorado. It’s a bit much.”