Crock of Gunt: Aurora GM Will Topham

[Borealis]

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Crock of Gunt: Aurora GM Will Topham
KOA Radio 850

October 24, 2033: Aurora, Colorado – Aurora’s broadcast team of Mark Gunter and George Crocker are joined by Aurora General Manager Will Topham to discuss the 2033 season.


Gunter: Welcome everyone to our season concluding episode of a Crock of Gunt. I’m Mark Gunter, with me is my partner…

Crocker: Right here Markie-Mark – well not really right here, instead I’m right here, in my car – it’s a beaut! ’82 Pontiac Firebird – bought it off my good bud, Steve Hott, though I don’t know why he’d sell it – it’s Hot! He sold it to me when he picked up a new set of wheels – a hot Dodge, or should I say it is a HOTT car. I, George Crocker, am coming to you live from…

Gunter: AND… we are joined by our guest – who needs no introduction, Aurora GM Will Topham.

Topham: Hey guys, glad to be on the show.

Gunter: So, Will, give us your initial thoughts on the season – there was a lot happening this year.

Topham: Certainly. I think the seasons results go beyond the won-loss record or even the playoff series with Fargo. The biggest story – and the it’s not a State secret has been the youth movement.

Crocker: What was that Will? What did you say? Bowel Movement? You were cutting in-and-out here on this fancy-smancy iPhoneU – they say that it works everywhere, but we all know that’s lies – Fresh Baked Lies!!! Thrown into the oven with a nice sourdough – remember back in the 2020 season, Will, when the Borealis had that off year and all we wanted to do was bake sourdough bread? That was the best – and great for those bowel movements…

Gunter: YOUTH… he said Youth Movement… Come on George – pull over and get on a land line.

Topham: Exactly Mark. Brian Clark, Raul Munoz, G-Rod…

Crocker: Hot Rod? Yes… yes this is a Hot Rod – or maybe it’s a HOTT Rod, gauging on it’s pedigree – Hey! Are they a sponsor? They should be! “Hi, I’m George Crocker – Hey, That’s Me! Does your dog or iguana like quality food? Well, do I have the product…

Gunter: G-ROD… G-Rod, George, as in Gabriel Rodriguez…

Crocker: Oh, that guy. Yeah he was pretty good. Not a Hott Rod, though, more like a GTO – Hey! George Crocker at his best – Gabriel ‘GTO’ Rodriguez! That has a smooth ring to it – smooth like this Hott Rod I’m slinging down the I-24…

Topham: Where are you George?

Crocker: I’m just chugging along… Chugging on to the Chattanooga Choo-Choo – almost… Not quite there, but just outside of Jasper, Tenn-O-Of-See… ‘Jasper’ I hate that guy. Remember what he did to us in 2030? That series was ours – we was robbed ‘Boy Wonder’, we was robbed. Definitely not hot or Hott – if you catch my meaning… The Commish should have acted on that failed drug test – should have…

Topham: What are you saying George? You really should watch what you say – it could get you into some serious trouble – not to mention the radio station and the team. I…

Crocker: The ayahuasca… He tested positive for that before that Game 3 – I know he did, but they hid the results or something – I bet that hacker GM of theirs deleted the results – yeah, that’s it!

Gunter: That is all preposterous George. Utterly preposterous.

Topham: If I may continue, George…

Gunter: Please do…

Topham: We felt pretty confident about the club going into the spring…

Crocker: Exactly! How did you know, Sir Topham Hatt? That’s exactly where I am headed – Springer Mountain, Georgia!

Gunter and Topham: WHAT?!?!?

Crocker: I’m off for a little mental cleansing – a NOBO on the AT, solamente as they say en español! Little pit stop – yeah… there ya go George Crocker – dropping the little irony on the listening audience… a little Pit Stop at the winter meetings and the Hall of Fame inductions – gotta be there for ‘Tugboat’, right? And ‘Old’ McDonald? Cory Pierce… River Pope! I hear it’s an All-Aurora Hall of Fame Class – How Awesome Is That?!?!?

Gunter: Hmmmmmmm… I don’t know about that, but you do know, George, that it’s mid-October, and it’s going to get cold – I mean COLD, pretty soon – especially once you get past North Carolina…

Crocker: No problem Mark-O – The Sultan of Hottness has assured me I can do this! He’s got folks picking up the car for me in Georgia – they have gear for me… It is going to be Awesome Sauce! You know what they say, ‘Steve Hott is So Hot that winter storms turn right around and go the other way when he’s around’! So, it’ll be a balmy 80º on Mt. Washington!! That’s where His Hottness tells me where he’s starting – I figure by Groundhog day we should be catching up in Punxsutawney. Then it’s PART-AY!! George Crocker and Steve “Steve ‘Steve Hott’ Hott” Hott, together?? Oh… Yeah… Nothing like a guy whose nickname has a nickname!

Topham: George, you do know that Punxsutawney isn’t anywhere near the Appalachian Trail?

Crocker: Hey – gotta go guys! Got some smoky on my tail and I’m not even to the mountains yet! Keep in touch… (dead air)

(Mark Gunter and Will Topham turn and stare at one another)

Gunter: (shakes his head) George…

[Sandgnats]

I love every part of this series. Happy to see the cross over!!!!

[Borealis]

It's only taken 10.5 years, but the story continues...