The Greatest Debate Ever Pt. 1: The Honorable Judge Streets

[KenH]

The stage was set for an epic battle. People filed into their respective seats as the spotlights dashed across the stage. At the far side stood a large, ornate podium that, if real wood, looked to be worth a small fortune by itself. Emblazoned in what looked to be ruby and opal was a Florida Farstriders logo. To the left and right and further upstage were two giant copper donut-shaped  devices which sat humming on the ground.

Soon the show would start. The crowd was abuzz with anticipation for what was promised as a first and only time event where Drew Streets, majority owner of the Florida Farstriders, would hold a hearing over the "2032 Disaster" as it had become known. Luppe van Dam, star pitcher of the team, was given the ball in the final game of the season while the team was up by 20 games over their next closest opponent. A veritable "throw away game" if there ever was one. Streets was demanding answers and for someone to pay. The price was, at this point, unknown. While no one was quite sure what the outcome of this glorified debate would be, one thing was for sure: this was the hottest ticket on the strip.

A screen at the back of the stage began to play a highlight reel of the recently finished season. Strikeouts by Acosta and Alvarez, homeruns by Munoz and Mora, swiped bases courtesy of Knopp and Villareal. Defensive highlights -- diving stops by Webb, impossible throws across the diamond from Morimoto... then the music slowly began to change to something more solemn and darker. All while the players popped champagne in the locker room after securing the pennant, exuberant faces, be-goggled and covered in brut, the music continued to become more mournful. Then, in the final moments of the tape, van Dam is seen, limping off the field, holding his back, obviously in discomfort. The visages of the players we saw just a moment before now sullen and worried. The screen and whole auditorium went dark.

This lasted for only a moment though before a voice over the auditorium bellowed "Ladies and Gentlemen.... Drew Streets!" The Farstriders owner emerged from backstage, holding a giant baseball bat-sized judge's mallet, smiling and waving at the crowd gathered.

"What a time to be a fan of baseball. With so many continuing to fall in love with our little slice of the world, we're excited to find new friends every year. While this is outside of our normal dealings, we -- well, I -- thought that it was time to have a bit of a meeting of the minds. And what better place to do that then at the most gleaming diamond in the sand here along the Las Vegas strip: The Streets Casino!" The crowd applauded and whooped. The people here may or may not have been baseball fans -- but they were all very much fans of Drew Streets.

I will, of course, be the master of ceremony over these proceedings as we listen and oggle at the two giants of our franchise -- the string-pullers and people-movers. I'm talking about none other than Ken Hannahs" at this, Streets pointed over to one of the humming disks where a 12 foot tall blue simulacrum of Ken Hannahs exploded from the ground and took shape, "and Noboru Sano!" Streets pointed to the opposing side where the same thing happened, only this time showing a kindly Japanese man of 69 years, looking tired and very much over it. Both waved at the crowd which they could not see.

"Together, we will get to the bottom of the Disaster of '32, and how we can never falter so badly again." Streets turned and took to his podium where he took his giant mallet and hit the button that said "BEGIN!" A timer started counting down and Hannahs began his opening statement...