Duane ‘The Rock’ Johnson Elected President, Declares Fair Pay 1st Priority

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Duane ‘The Rock’ Johnson Elected President, Declares Fair Pay 1st Priority
FEBRUARY 18, 2021BY SANDGNATS
CRYSTAL LAKE HERALD

SPORTS – GNATS NOW
Duane ‘The Rock’ Johnson Elected President, Declares Fair Pay 1st Priority
Updated: November 9, 2032 – 11:05 PM

By Howard Heskin, Gnats Beat Writer and ESPN PEBA Correspondent – Twitter @HowardHeskin1

President Elect Johnson

“The people of our great land have spoken. Worker’s Rights are Human Rights. Today, we turn the page on the policies of the past and on to a greater future for all,” declared Duane ‘The Rock’ Johnson who was elected President of the United States in a 538 electoral vote landside tonight. Duane Johnson was the second member of his family to win election this week, as to not be out done by his younger son Brandon, who was elected PEBA Player’s Union President.

President-Elect Duane Johnson declared, “Its about time the likes of Drew Streets (Florida) and his band of merry men lead by their puppet front man Harry Castle set an example for our country by settling their collective bargaining dispute with my beloved son, Brandon. Just like I told Hulk Hogan back in the day, ‘Talk to the hand old man’ [Harry] Castle.” The president-elect then took another veiled shot at billionaire Florida owner Drew Streets. “Do we really need a rocket propelled zipline from Vegas to Jacksonville? How about starting with a modest raise for your employees Streets! Do something for your Country.”



The eclectic Streets and Johnson have been billionaire rivals in private space travel tourism for the last 5 years. Once Streets rebranded his Florida team to be more politically correct, the rumors began to fly if Streets would seek the presidency. However, once Johnson announced his candidacy both major political parties immediately nominated him at once all but guaranteeing the formal victory tonight.

Senior administration officials tell the Herald that behind all the bluster that Streets could be in line to be the next director of NASA since turning his public image ‘around’ a few years ago. Another source tells us that Streets is being considered as the first civilian director of the Space Force.

In regards to the PEBA labor dispute – ‘It must be nice with Johnson on your side.’

What will Castle’s next move be after being called out by the President-Elect?

Perhaps with political distractions out of the way PEBA and its players can stand on a united front in negotiations with Comcast International, Dish Network, Disney Sports, Rodgers Communications, SKY UK and Foxtel? All these companies carry PEBA games internationally and are rumored to be jockeying for singular rights to PEBA MOV. But will ownership share the profits fairly or be called into the White House kitchen to see what’s cooking?