Vic Caleca: Well, Yasu, I don’t quite understand how your assessment of this kid can be so wildly different than the PEBA Scouting Association’s. I mean, you’ve gotta admit, this is a pretty significant swing.
Yasukazu Koda: So sorry, Mr. Vic, but my scouting methods are proprietary – you knew that when you hired me, and I assume you are interested in my assessment, or why even bother having a scouting department? Just take the word of the hacks employed by the scouting association.
Caleca: Prickly bastard, aren’t you?
Koda: You have no idea.
Caleca: OK, I just want you to walk me through this one more time. This kid, Manuel López, he’s 17 years old, he came out of this baseball academy that folded, we’ve got no background on him, no stats, nothing. And you’re telling me that he’s got 3.5 star potential when the PSA gives him half a star potential?
Koda: That is precisely what I am telling you, Mr. Vic.
Caleca: And this is based on … what? You like his energy aura? The spirits of your ancestors woke you at 2 in the morning and told you the kid can hit the curve ball?
Koda (obviously offended): You mock me, Mr. Vic? You mock my heritage?
Caleca: Not at all, Yasu. I just want to make sure if we offer this a couple of million to sign a free agent contract that we’re signing a bona fide prospect, not some schlub.
Koda: Manuel is not, as you so elegantly put it, a schlub. My assistants and I worked him out personally, and our assessment is that he has the potential to be an excellent hitter. Not a good hitter. An excellent hitter.
Caleca (sighs, pulls a sheet of paper in front of him and reads from it): Yes, let’s see here: if we can believe your assessment, you think López is a 4/9 for contact; a 4/8 for gap power; a 3/6 for home run power; a 3/7 for plate discipline; and 3/8 for avoiding strikeouts. Those are some impressive numbers.
Koda: Yes. This is why we want you to sign him to play for Khartoum.
Caleca: OK. But just for comparison’s sake, the PSA folks – assuming they were looking at the same kid – peg him at 1/2 contact; 1/3 gap power; 1/1 home run power; 2/4 plate discipline; and 1/4 for avoiding strikeouts. Right?
Koda: Yes. They are morons.
Caleca: You may well have a point there, but I’m still nervous about the disparity here.
Koda: Fine. Do not sign him. Pay me $575,000 a year to ignore my advice.
Caleca (runs his hand through his hair): Ok, Yasu. Well, we don’t have any early round draft picks, so maybe we should treat this kid like a first-round talent – which he would be, if your assessment holds up. I’ll offer enough to make sure we sign him, say $2 million or $2.5 million.
Koda: That would be most excellent.
Caleca: But if it turns out he’s a schlub, like the PSA scouts think, I am going to personally kick your ass, Yasu.
Koda: That does not worry me, Mr. Vic.
Caleca: You’re that confident in your evaluation?
Koda But of course. Plus something more.
Caleca: And what’s that?
Koda: My staff and I assess your ass-kicking potential at roughly one-half a star.
Caleca (laughs): That’s first thing you’ve said all day that makes any sense to me. OK, Yasu. Let me reach out to this kid’s agent and we’ll get things rolling.
*****
Reuters ReportEdinburgh, Scotland – The Scottish Claymores on June 5 signed unheralded second base prospect Manuel López to their Rookie League affiliate in Khartoum for a minor league contract plus a whopping $2.5 million bonus.
Baseball analysts were perplexed by the size of the bonus, given that the PEBA Scouting Association has assessed López as a marginal talent at best ….
