IL/SL Writing Challenge: Most original

[John]

The IL/SL Writing Challenge has concluded, and now it's time to hear your thoughts on the best stories produced during the week-long event! Polls are being set up to take your votes for most of the award categories. Every owner who contributed at least one article will receive +3 bonus CP for each award a member of their division wins. The exception is the Trading deadline reviews: for that category, every owner in the league with the winning review who contributed at least one article will receive +5 bonus CP.

Every last article that was submitted was worthy of consideration for an award. Sadly, it's necessary to whittle down the options to keep things manageable. Therefore, some limits were put in place. No more than five articles are up for any one category (EXCEPTION: Six for trade deadline reviews), and owners can't have more than one nomination in a category. Also, a number of extremely high quality articles are not up for consideration because they are outside the scope of the awards categories (notably ones focused on humor, draft analysis and the minor leagues). If you wrote such an article, do not be dismayed by its absence here: your efforts have been noted and your article will be a candidate for an end-of-year "Best Of" writing award.

Because you guys have a stake in this, the final results won't be determined by popular vote. Your votes will be added to the opinions of the League Presidents and the Commissioner. The Commissioner will ultimately decide the winning article for each category.

Please don't cast votes with the goal of winning CP!! Take the time to read these articles. Believe me, they're all worth reading! When you've finished cast your vote based on which one you honestly feel deserves to be labeled as the best of category.

Our new LRS owners are absolutely allowed to vote, and are in fact highly encouraged to do so. And now, without further ado, let's get to the voting...

Most Original Article

• Kalamazoo - Thoughts From the Cosmic Adapter

Launching players into space and irradiating them to make them better ballplayers is certainly a novel idea.

• Kentucky - António Cruz, the Untold Story

Did you know António Cruz was shipped out of Lexington because he's a dirty shoe thief? It's true.

• Gloucester - Abel Montgomery Forced into Service

AA farmhand Abel Montgomery is being pressed into service as a team scribe.

• San Antonio - Mayhem In Kentucky

Think Kentucky owner Bill Shatner can't get any weirder? Witness his post-game concert featuring aging rockers Ozzy Osbourne and Mötley Crüe.

• Florida- Featherheads.com Webcast: Mark Richardson's Date

The Featherheads' broadcasting duo of A.K. & Nelly follow 2B Mark "Ice Cold" Richardson around, commenting on the exploits of his hot date for charity.

[Tyler]

• Gloucester - Abel Montgomery Forced into Service

AA farmhand Abel Montgomery is being pressed into service as a team scribe.

This link goes to the wrong story.

[John]

This link goes to the wrong story.

Thank you! Fixed.

[Cole]

I guess no one in this league are science fiction fans!

Here are some highlights:


António Cruz, the Untold Story

Cooper is another one who is in a pickle of a spot. Brought in during the season to alleviate the losses of both Murdock and Molina to extended injuries – and with hopes of signing him for a few more years – he finds himself down with injury and has basically contributed nothing.

Four shots and a vodka-tonic later, Bill opened up. Little did I know the barrage of adjectives I was about to bear witness to. Bill spewed forth, “Cruz, that no good P.O.S., lowlife S.O.B., murderin' cabana boy. Don’t even try to tell me he isn’t!!!


Abel Montgomery Forced into Service

Montgomery has been playing this season in Double A Narragansett after having a cup of coffee last year for the major league club. When asked what he is looking forward to the most about the writing job, a visibly anguished Montgomery replied, “I’m just happy to be out of Narragansett.

“I’ll tell you one thing: Seplecher… Spelchlicher… Strawplitcher… Andrew S. has been a great pickup,” Benjamin said when asked about the prospects for the rest of the season. “I’ve offered him $500,000 to change his last name. I mean, come on, who has that kind of name anymore?


Thoughts From the Cosmic Adapter

You would think a place such as Kalamazoo Badgers' space compound is impossible.

Peering at the location from any direction, nothing can be seen but miles of uninterrupted Eastern Hemlock and Balsam Fur. Not a single thoroughfare crosses through its neodymium yttrium-aluminum-garnet laser walls.

At 9:00 AM in the morning, the lighted walls gradually illuminated, the dresser which was structured as a stack of sliding decks opened slowly with all preparations for the day neatly displayed, while simultaneously my cot lowered into the compartmentalized floor while another compartment adjacent to it opened and began to fill with the most perfect warm water for my morning bath.

If this was a science newsletter I would inform you on how it all worked, but all that matters is that it did work, which is confirmed by my safe return.


Mayhem In Kentucky

“Folks.... I want to introduce you...to some...friends of mine. As you may... or may not.... have heard..... the San Antonio Calzones..... de Laredo.... have some new owners. They have.... at my invitation... joined us here... tonight. Please give a warm.... Kentucky welcome.... to my good friends.... Mötley Crüe.”

“F*** yeah!!!” came the reply as his bandmate snatched the microphone from his hand and sprinted towards the dugout. He climbed up on the dugout, and then, in a sight that will never be forgotten, began to lead the Kentucky crowd in the Chicken Dance.

Yes. The Chicken Dance.


Featherheads.com Webcast: Mark Richardson's Date

One of the convalescent home caretakers stood behind the door. She was in her late 30s dressed in some cheap blue nylon fabric from head to toe. “Why, hello there,” she smiled. “You must be Mr. Richardson. Granny Gretchen has been waiting for you. Please come in.”

Quicker than a fat kid at a dessert buffet table, Richardson bolted towards his beloved bat. He picked it up and checked for scruff marks before hugging it dearly. He nuzzled it against his chest and talked to it in an attempt to soothing it. “Oh don’t worry, Edna; daddy’s here to take good care of you.

Just like that, Richardson turned around and sprinted towards his car, leaving Grandma Gretchen and the caretaker standing there by themselves.

(Run, Forest, run! – Nelly)