Karrah's Casino Owner Valenches Purchases Trendsetters

[Trendsetters]

NEW ORLEANS - New Trendsetters owner Chuck Valenches took to the podium Tuesday afternoon at the ballpark with his team of advisors behind him and a brand new trendsetters cap on his head. The head of Karrah's Casinos in New Orleans recently completed a 5.45 billion dollar purchase of the club with Valenches retaining 52% of the ball club and ballpark. Valenches also assumes the title of Managing General Partner and will be overseeing the operation of the club.

VALENCHES: "It is a proud day for me and my advisory team to have become the new owner of the New Orleans Trendsetters, a team with a proud tradition in the PEBA and one of the premiere franchises in the league. I look forward to bringing the fans a great product on the field and in the stands. We have few surprises in store for the fans that I think they will enjoy such as our new deal with the Louisiana Liquor Board that will allow our fans to walk out of the stadium with their alcoholic beverage to put us on par with Bourbon Street."

REPORTER: How do you plan to deal with the 27 year playoff drought?

VALENCHES: (Turns to advisors) *27 years?! Are you serious?! What the absolut...* "MMMPPHH. That has obviously been an unwelcome surprise for many New Orleans fans" (Stares at advisors)" and one we plan to rectify. We will be competitive in free agency and I plan on rolling back the team profits into the team so that we can bring the best players money can buy!"

REPORTER: "But, your team has lost money in 8 of the last ten years, including almost $20,000,000 last season. How do you plan to turn around the financial fortunes and on field fortunes of this team with such a poor balance sheet?"

VALENCHES: (turns to advisors) *20,000,000 freakin' dollars?! Why didn't any of you id....* (Turns to security and nods. Security leads all of the advisors out of the room leaving Valenches as the only one at the podium). "As I was saying earlier, we will rely on judicious player development, an increased focus on the draft and wise investments to build a lasting, winning culture in New Orleans. I had been prepared to announce Dennis Smith as the new GM (the sound of a van door closing and driving away is heard) but a sudden change of team direction has caused us to look elsewhere for leadership...and advice. Thank you all for attending and we look forward to seeing you all at the ballpark!

Valenches then left the stage and could be heard yelling backstage. The terms "You won't even run a hot dog stand" and "Floating in Lake Pontchartrain!" could be heard.

[Sandgnats]

Another Casino owner in PEBA. Oh my!

[Leones]

Welcome to PEBA Chuck!