Johnny Matthew Markham

[Arroyos]

Johnny Matthew Markham


“Oh, shit,” Sean said. “I forgot!”

He sprinted back onto the hospital grounds, across the quad and through the emergency exit into the Men’s Ward.

“Where is it? Where do they hide it?”

He was shouting. The few men remaining in the ward looked at him as if he were the mental patient. One of the nurses on duty gently put the leg of the patient she was massaging back on the bed and stood to face Sean.

“Who is it?” she asked. “Who’re you looking for?”

“No one!” Sean shouted. Then, realizing where he was and who was asking, he said in a calmer voice, “The fire alarm. Where is it?”

The nurse looked around. “I don’t … I’ve never … There!” She pointed across the ward to the red alarm box on the wall near the door to the hallway.

Sean sprinted across the ward and yanked the white lever that had the words “PULL DOWN” printed in red letters across it.

Nothing happened.

Sean looked at the nurse. She asked Sean, “Is there a fire?”

Sean asked her, “Does it work?”

She said, “How would I know?”

He said, “No—I mean yes! We have to evacuate.”

“Why?” she asked.

“Because,” he said and pulled the alarm again.

The ward was filled with a piercing noise. Bells rang, whistles screeched, lights flashed, and the nurse began helping the male patients out of their beds. They shuffled toward the fire exit and out onto the quad. The nurse turned to ask Sean where the fire was, but he was gone.

Sprinting down the long hallway, he weaved his way between the staggering patients and shouting orderlies that had suddenly filled the hall. Everyone was going in a different direction.

“The fire exit is that way!” Sean shouted, pointing up the hallway towards the main entrance. Another orderly was directing patients down the hallway towards the Men’s Ward.

“No no!” Sean shouted at the other orderly. “To the main entrance, that way.”

The orderly shook his head. “Too crowded,” he shouted back. “The Men’s Ward is better.”

Sean didn’t have time to argue. If the main entrance was already too crowded, well, that was good news. He pushed his way through the throng flowing down the hallway toward the lobby of the main entrance, just to be sure.

It was mobbed. Patients shuffling out the main door in their slippers, nurses assisting those who could only walk with help, a half dozen gurneys with attendants pushing slowly towards the front doors, and in the midst of it all, Nurse Peters standing next to a dignified looking gentleman in an expensive suit. He was helping her climb up on a table. When she got there, she shouted at the broiling crowd. Sean couldn’t hear what she was saying, so he pushed closer.

He bumped into someone and said, “Sorry.” Nurse Mary turned to excuse him, saw who it was and said something like “looking for you,” but Sean wasn’t sure. The noise in the lobby was deafening. Mary gestured for him to lean over, then she shouted in his ear, “I’ve got him!”

“Who?” Sean shouted back.

“Johnny Markham!”

“Who he?”

Mary gave Sean a look of disappointment, then pulled a card from the front pocket of her uniform. She held it up for Sean to see.

Markham.png

“Holy Hammerin’ Hank!” Sean sputtered. “It’s the missing card, the Mark card! Where’d you—”

“Take a closer look,” Mary shouted, and pulled him to the side of the noisy lobby.

Sean stared at the card. “What am I looking for?”

“The name,” Mary said. “Or, to be more accurate, the names—plural.”

Sean looked. Sean saw. Sean shouted out, “It’s the holy fucking grail! How’d you—where’d you—who?”

“Who?”

“Who gave it to you?” Sean was beside himself. “Just look at it. All the names are right there.”

“Not all,” Mary said.

“Okay,” Sean said correcting himself. “But John and Matthew AND Mark are all there. He’s already got a Luke. This is … this is like, I don’t know. It’s gold, pure gold, sweet Mary. How’d you find it? Who gave it to you?”

“The fireman. You know, the one who rescued him during that fire years ago. Remember?”

“Of course I remember, that’s why I pulled the alarm, to get him and his firehouse buddies here, so I could get the card and give it to …” Sean stopped. He looked troubled.

The crowd in the lobby was thinning out. Most of the patients had been directed outside. A couple gurneys were still making their way through the main doors. Nurse Peters was directing everyone from where she stood on top of the table. The well dressed gentleman held Peters’ hand to support her.

“What is it?” Mary asked when she saw the look on Sean’s face.

“They’re not here yet.”

“Who’s not?”

“The firemen.” Sean gestured toward the front doors. “They haven’t even arrived and yet …” He looked at the card in his hand. “How’d you get this BEFORE they arrived?”

Mary smiled. “You’re not the only one with a plan, you know.”

“You found another source for the card?”

Mary shook her head. “Nope. Same source.”

“The fireman?”

“The fireman.”

“But … how? They’re not here yet.”

Mary smiled a mysterious smile. “But he’s been here.”

Sean looked puzzled. “When? Like … our last fire drill? That was … I don’t know. Months ago.”

“Today.”

“Today?” Sean chortled. “We haven’t had a fire drill today. I would have known. It would have ruined—” Sean stopped and gave Mary a close look. She nearly disappeared behind the wide cheshire cat grin she gave him. The he got it. “You sly little—”

“No-no,” she said, raising a finger to stop him. “Remember: orderlies still take orders from nurses.”

He laughed. “So,” he said, “you must have invited a certain fireman here today on his own, right? He’s not coming with the crew my alarm will bring, right?”

Mary raised her eyebrows and kept right on grinning. Then she cocked her head and listened. “I think I hear your fire truck coming now. Hear it?”

Sean listened, and sure enough he could make out the sound of a siren in the distance. “Isn’t your fireman going to feel a little weird being here when his crew arrives?”

“He’s expecting them.”

“Oh, I see. You told him I would set off an alarm.”

Mary grinned even more. The siren was approaching.

“Is that when he gave you the card?”

“Yup, you got it! Mystery solved. Well done, Sherlock.” She was laughing.

Sean started to laugh too, then caught himself. He held the card up and said, “But how do we get it to Mayberry? He’s gone. He and Slummings will be on the 3:10 to Yuma this afternoon.”

“So will Mr. Helping Hand,” Mary said pointing to the gentleman helping Nurse Peters descend from the table she had been standing on. The fire engine had cut the siren. The big tires crunched the gravel in the circular driveway at the entrance to the hospital.

Sean gave an appraising look toward the gentleman, then turned back to Mary. “You had this all worked out, didn’t you? You never had any faith in my plan, did you?”

“I was confident you’d get them out of here, but I wasn’t certain the whole fire alarm scheme would bring the card to the hospital. Or that you had a plan to get the card from the fireman to Mayberry.”

“I did, but …” Sean thought it over. “It was never going to work, was it? I mean, unless I drove the card down to the train station myself, right?”

Mary shrugged.

“Wow,” he said, “you outplayed me.”

“I just added on to your original plan.”

“Teamwork, then?”

Mary nodded. The patients surrounded the yellow fire truck the moment it stopped. The crew had a tough time getting out and on the ground.

Sean noticed that the suited gentleman was shaking hands with Nurse Peters. “Looks like he’s leaving, so you better …” He offered the card to Mary.

“Oh no, not me. Peters would notice and she’d confiscate the card. Probably use it to persuade Mayberry to return to the hospital.”

“She’d do that?”

“To keep a patient—her patient—under her care?”

“Yeah, she’d do that.” Sean put the card in his pocket. “So how do you think I can get this to our courier pigeon?”

“Follow him. He’s got a rental car parked out there somewhere. Give it to him there.”

“Ohh-kay,” Sean said slowly, “maybe that’ll work. If no one sees me. Like Peters.”

“I think Peters is going to be plenty busy in a moment,” Mary said, noticing one fireman pushing his way through the crowd of patients and nurses and orderlies to step inside the lobby. He noticed Nurse Peters right away. Her height, the explosion of red hair above the blinding white uniform, and the empty space patients and staff alike maintained around her made her stand out.

“Captain, I’m Head Nurse Peters. We’ve had a false alarm I’m afraid, though I understand you’ll still want to do an inspection of our alarms and such.”

“Exactly, ma’am,” the fireman replied. “If you don’t mind.”

“Not at all. This way.” Peters turned and led the Captain into the hospital. Mary smiled at Sean and followed them.

Sean turned to discover the man in the expensive suit had already left the building, so he followed. As the man unlocked his rental car, Sean strode up and introduced himself.

“Excuse me, sir. I’m an orderly here at the hospital and—”

“An orderly?”

“Yessir. I have—”

“Does that mean you keep order?”

Sean smiled politely. “No, it really means—”

“Am I in trouble? For disrupting the order of the hospital?”

Sean chuckled. “No sir, I just want—”

“So why are you holding me up, Mr. Orderly? I have a train to catch.”

Sean ignored the condescending tone and said, “About that train. Sir.” He offered the man the baseball card.

“What’s this?”

“You’re looking for two elderly men, right? One is a former patient of ours, Bob Mayberry. The other was, well, let’s just say he was a guest of the hospital until recently. A Mr. Slummings? You know who I’m talking about?”

The man gave Sean a disparaging look. “How do you know my business?”

“Slummings and Mayberry confided in me. They are hoping you will bring this to your meeting on the train.” Sean offered the card again.

“I came here looking for Mr. Slummings, that’s true. But I don’t have any business with any patient here at the hospital.”

“Well, they’re traveling together. Want one, gotta take ‘em both. And this card,” Sean held out the baseball card again, “this card will get their attention.”

The man didn’t even look at it. “What kind of secret cult shit are you peddling?”

“It’s just a baseball card.”

“Oh really? Doesn’t look like the baseball cards I collected when I was a kid. Where’s the picture? Or the bubble gum, for that matter?”

Sean resisted the impulse to vent his frustration. He took a deep breath. “It’s a card to a baseball game which both Mr. Mayberry and Mr. Slummings play. They will be very grateful if you deliver it to them.”

“A baseball card?” The gentleman finally looked at the card. “Slummings cares about this thing?”

Sean nodded.

The man gave the card a closer look, then studied Sean’s face, before asking, “What do I get out of this?”

Sean nearly laughed out loud. The arrogant presumption that all human motives could be reduced to self-interest rankled him. But he said nothing at first, swallowed the laughter, and, after a moment, chose his words carefully. “Perhaps you could think of this card as, well, a sort of calling card, if you will, an introduction to Slummings and Mayberry, who will be very grateful if you deliver this card, so grateful that they will listen much more favorably to whatever business you have with them.” He took a deep breath and watched the well-dressed gentleman consider his proposition.

After a long moment, the man took the card from Sean and slid it into his suit jacket breast pocket. Then he looked Sean up and down, noted his name tag, and said, “If you’re pulling a fast one on me, Sean, I’ll report you to Nurse Peters.”

“If anything,” Sean said, “this has been the slowest damn business I’ve ever conducted. Thank you.”

He turned and headed back toward the hospital. The man watched him walk across the gravel parking lot, then pulled the card out of his breast pocket and looked at it again.

“Who the hell is Johnny Markham?” he wondered, put the card back in his breast pocket and unlocked the door to his rental card. To the train station, he thought. It’s worth a shot.

He had just enough time to get to the station before the 3:10 to Yuma arrived from the north.