Dave Hull Found!

[KenH]

Ever since the championship parade, no one had seen young Dave Hull. There had been whispers and intonations but no clear picture was drawn as to what or where the pitcher had escaped to. It was no secret that Hull had a rough 2033 campaign and even more disasterous post season where several of the team’s losses got hung directly on his shoulders.

What made this story particularly odd was that his family and girlfriend either feigned nonchalance or seriously were not worried for the young man’s safety, only intoning that the young Hull was on a “vision quest.”

Dave Hull came into the season a lock to be the setup man for all-world closer Bob Burns who Florida acquired in the offseason, but the problems started early and often for the young hurler who Florida believed in so much that they gave up their top pitching prospect Young-Pil Pin for several years ago.

“All of his stuff was there,” commented Coach York. “It was more that his mind wasn’t right. Something was off between the ears all year.”

Hull agreed.

As the year wore on, Hull stopped talking about his pitch location and spin rate, and instead started talking about his chakras and third eye. “Look, the physical is just half of the equation,” he said after he blew his second game in the playoffs, “this is about my spiritual connection to the earth mother. I am lost without her who grounds me.”
The last time that many of his coaches and friends saw Dave was in the championship parade in which Hull walked at the back of the parade, shoeless, wearing a hairshirt, head bowed and picking up trash along the way with a cowbell hanging around his neck. After the event, it was reported that he flew in the cargo hold of a flight from Jacksonville to Boston, apparently making his way to Mt. Washington to meet with “a yogi who can battle my demons.”

For over a month, Dave Hull was unreachable through conventional methods, though his girlfriend back at their home said that she astral projected with Dave every night. “It is about shaping the universe to be there and not there,” stated Ms. Kleffenhoffer, Hull’s fiancee. “It is through our unconscious perception that we may find our love in the echos of their path.”

In a surprising twist of events, several days before Dave Hull emerged with dreadlocks and a full helping of beard, Steve Hott was rescued from the side of the very same mountain after injuring his leg while on copious amounts of ayahuasca.

Several local reporters asked the bedraggled and thin Hull about his journeys.

“I met with a shaman in the hills and he has shown me my way,” he responded. He then asked for a cup of oolong tea, a fistfull of rose petals and a bath. While many wanted to ask additional questions, he would not answer them. Smelling of patchouli and natural musk, he checked into a Comfort Inn and escaped the throng of local reporters.

Little is known of young Hull’s journey, but for all intents and purposes, the man is safe although there is at least some concern for his long term mental faculties, he seems to be resting and recovering from his “primordial journey through the transcendent space.”

More on this story as it develops.

[Sandgnats]

Hull! A Hott in the making?