Collins Out, Hamada In as Ghosts Head Scout

[Ghosts]

Niihama, Japan - 29 October, 2033

“Dan, and I can’t stress this enough, this isn’t because of the work you’ve done. We think you’ve done a fine job of assessing and identifying talent. We have a top 5 farm and you’ve been integral to that,” Vanessa said coolly.

“I want to thank you for collecting such a trove of young talent. With their success goes the future of the Ghosts, and personally I coldn’t be more excited to see the likes of Yuji Yamashita and Esteban Rodriguez donning the green and white,” Vanessa continued. Before Dan Collins, scouting director of the Niihama-shi Ghosts could reply, she pressed on, “And the second wave talents you’ve collected in the lower minors are just as exciting. I know how hard life in Japan has been for you. All the travel, your personal troubles, all of it adds up, so there’s no judgement here,” Vanessa finally paused long enough for Dan to get a word in.

“Then WHY the HELL are you firing me? On this, the most sacred of all holidays no less!” Dan pleaded with apparently genuine confusion.

Vanessa leaned back in the tall leather office chair of her boss, GM Dan Vail, and collected her thoughts for a moment before answering.

“Well, Dan, maybe it was the two years of inappropriate comments. Maybe it was the countless complaints from interns and staff that raise serious questions about your professionalism. Maybe it was those things,” Vanessa spoke with no edge in her voice. The man was an idiot, and didn’t actually bother her now that she was his superior. He did solid enough work as scouting director, though she’d been eyeing a replacement for him for months. She had, in fact, already hired Ryutaro Hamada as the new scouting director. She was just waiting for the right moment to inform Collins.

Collins wiped the sweat from his forehead, squinted his eyes and began to raise his voice, “THIS IS SUCH BULLSHIT. BASEBALL USED TO BE FUN AND A GUY TRIES TO HAVE A GOOD TIME AND ENJOY WORK HIS WORK AND OH NO HERE COMES THE PC POLICE. WELL TOO BAD YOU CAN’T FIRE ME IF I QUIT, SWEETHEART!”

“As I was saying, it might have been those things, until tonight, when you came to the office Halloween party dressed as ‘Adam’,” Vanessa, again, spoke with a calm tone most closely matching that of a parent explaining a situation to a small child.

“OH I SUPPOSE MY BODY OFFENDS YOU? DON’T YOU SHAME ME, VANNY VANNY FANNY GIRL,” Dan attempted to point at her with his glass of what was assuredly some cheap scotch overladen with ice, but the glass slipped out of his hand and clunked harmlessly against the rug, spraying its minimal contents at his feet.

“Or it might have been that you just defaced the GM’s office,” Vanessa continued, gesturing to the wall opposite the windows.

“I think that was there before,” Dan said.

“It was not.”

“That could have been anybody, the whole office is here,” Dan retorted, grinning.

“It says, ‘THERE CAN BE ONLY ONE / #JustOneDan’.”

Dan’s grin turned to a giggle as he covered his face with his now free hand, “Could have been anyone.”

Vanessa gestured toward his left hand, saying simply, “Dan...”

Collins looked down and saw the hot pink can of spray paint in his left hand and started cracking up. He waved a few times at Vanessa as he attempted to collect himself. After a moment, he stood, placed the can on the desk, and brushed some potato chip crumbs from his chest hair before announcing, “I’ll see myself out.”

“No, Sara will take care of that,” she said, speaking past him to the security guard waiting outside the door. “Make sure he takes his personal affects and you get his badge,” Vanessa added with a polite smile.

Collins rolled his eyes and twirled his finger into the air in a “whoopdy doo” motion as he walked out of the office. He paused in the doorway, smacked his thong-exposed butt cheek, and made his exit, clipping his shoulder against the doorframe as he did.

After dialing the janitorial staff, and tidying up some of the mess, GM Dan Vail walked into his office and took in the surprising scene.

“What the… I suppose he took it poorly, then?” he said, incredulous.

“Actually, he took it quite well. This was before,” Vanessa chuckled as she watched him survey the damage.

“IS THAT URINE?” he questioned, pointing at the floor near his corner plant.

“Almost certainly, come on let’s rejoin the party. I’ll get you a drink.”

[Sandgnats]