Duluth Organizational Review 2032

[ScottH]

HOWARD COSELL

SPEAKING OF SPORTS

A couple examples of "Howard Cosell, Speaking of Sports" to set the mood for your reading.

Putting together a synopsis of a baseball season when your team wins just 39% of their games is not an enjoyable undertaking by any stretch of the human imagination, but it must be done. The loyal patrons of the Duluth Warriors stream into Doyle Buhl Stadium with energy and optimism night after night, only to leave dispirited as they perambulate the iconic Aerial Lift Bridge before the nightly freighters arrive. As if they must see proper execution and a job well done, after watching six innings of grown men playing fundamentally flawed baseball.

“We had two performance goals for 2032,” said owner Jason Bong, “win 35 games in the first half and win 46 games in the second half. We were at 39-39 after 78 games, so we were ahead of schedule. What we have been studying is the 24-60 record after that point.” Sir, are you aware that San Diego once had a man play 2440 games for their franchise and he had multiple hits in 39% of those games. Mr. Bong, that is accomplishment worthy of analytical ponderance.

Such is the mindset of the deep-pocketed decision maker who has had four seasons to make his mark in PEBA. The people of Duluth do not require a 2-month disquisition into the substandard and insufferable performance that they have been subjected to for five seasons. Cognizant of the reasons for this shameful mediocrity, these hard working, middle class Americans routinely make the journey into the heart of their city and watch the Warriors yield again and again.

Two months you have been perusing the analytics of your disastrous 2032 season. The people can easily tell you the problems. Your pitching is not good enough, bottom three in most SL categories. Defense is bottom half, zone rating of -49.3. Cadavers have a better chance of fielding the ball. Your offense was seventh in the SL in home runs and second in stolen bases and yet Duluth finished tenth in runs scored.

With all due respect and in the simplest of terms sir, you and your staff did not put an acceptable product on the field. The nearly 3.2 million people that attended Warriors games last season showed that they are hungry for victory. In 2031 your franchise finished over $20 million in the red and with just 16 more victories in 2032 you were $54 million in the black, the greatest profit in franchise history. Due not to the product or performance, in spite of it sir!

Another season of futility and you will be forced to watch people avoid your stadium on their way to the Aerial Lift Bridge. Not leaving in the seventh inning but by-passing your gates all together because they would rather observe a bridge raising than watch you stuff your pockets with their hard-earned money. The time has come for you to give your fans what they crave, a winning ball club.

This has been Howard Cosell, Speaking of Sports

             
 
DULUTH 2032 TOP PERFORMERS
TOP HITTER: Sean Kirkland LF--.274/.308/.507. 33 home runs and 92 rbi
TOP ROOKIE: Noah Hill 3B/SS—117 games, .291/.328/.400 25 SB; hit .351 in Sept/Oct
TOP PITCHER: Orlando Trujillo—11-12, 3.26, K/BB better than 6:1, 5.1 WAR, 2.61 FIP
Pedro Gonzalez—13-14, 3.07

MINOR LEAGUE AWARD WINNERS
Franchise selection Minors Pitcher of the Year: Skip Hathaway (A) 14-1, 1.66, K/BB 5+:1, 6.7 WAR
Franchise selection Minors Hitter of the Year: Antonio Herrera (A,AA) 31 2B’s, 25 HR, .331, 7.5 WAR

PLATINUM STICK AWARD WINNERS
Alastair Sellers RF Racine (AAA) .300/.354/.518; hit over .300 with 9 HR’s over last 30 games
Patrick Woods LF Racine (AAA) .312/.346/.475; 42 XBH and 5.0 WAR
Juan Velasquez CF Medicine Hat (AA) 57 XBH, 30 SB’s; played in Future’s Game
Antonio Herrera 3B Rapid City (A) 86 hits in 75 games, 4.9 WAR; Future’s Game MVP
Victor Thomas2B Medicine Hat (AA) 47 XBH, 4.7 WAR
Sergio Campos LF Rapid City (A) 38 HR in 99 games, 79 rbi, 4.6 WAR; all-star, 3rd in Outstanding Hitter
Raul Garcia 1B Suwon (R) .334/.410/.534, 112 hits, 83 rib in 89 games

OUTSTANDING PITCHER AWARD WINNERS
Skip Hathaway Rapid City (A) AWL—won 14 consecutive decisions; 30 consecutive scoreless innings
Wilfred Williams Rapid City (A) AWL—finished second to Hathaway, 15-4 5 complete games, 4 shutouts
Roberto Ruiz Suwon (R) IBC—8-1, 1.45, K/BB 6:1

ADDITIONAL AWARD WINNERS
Don Sanchez 2B Racine (AAA) Glove Wizard Award
Ming Huang 1B Medicine Hat (AA) Glove Wizard Award
Rene Padilla Suwon (R) set records with 3 complete games and 146 strike outs
Ethan Dodgson Rapid City (A) finished second in Outstanding Hitter Award voting, 67 xbh, 6.2 WAR
Jacob Gill #2 overall 2032 draft—won USCBA RF Platinum Stick, 2nd in USCBA Outstanding Hitter
Sumio Tanaka Suwon (R)—wins IBC Championship MVP Award
Fernando Sanchez Suwon (R)—wins IBC Divisional MVP Award