Streets Brawl: What Went Wrong

[KenH]

Drew Streets has always been known as someone who thinks outside the box. Whether it is his unique cruise ship offerings where he offers the first (and to this point only) 8-day submarine cruise, the two story sloth machine Ferris wheel at the newly-christened Parc Grand Casino, or even the new hydrogen battery fueled vehicles that have started limited production, the man is always thinking ahead. In most cases, that has everything to do with the technical aspects of a job, but he is known to be an equally forward-thinking manager as well. So, when Streets went on the Baseball Tonight last week and spoke candidly about the Farstriders not making it to the IL Championship, people perked up.

“Sometimes what matters is a unified face to a problem. Sometimes what matters is transparency. In my opinion, our fans need transparency. Keep an eye out for our plans to hold ourselves accountable.”

Over the course of the following week, details emerged for what will be a debate between the Farstrider brass, done in true Drew Streets fashion. The two sides of the debate will be GM Ken Hannahs and Manager Noboru Sano. From what we understand – and granted, there is still much we do not know – there will be a meeting in which both of these men and their teams will give their defense of the season and how they managed their own specific roles.

The goal of this was stated clearly by Mr. Streets only hours ago when he tweeted “We all want to know what happened in the final week of the regular season. How did we end up winning the division by 20 games and losing our best player in the final game of the regular season? WE DESERVE ANSWERS! Join us for the Streets Brawl!”

Both sides of the battle have kept relatively mum, however Hannahs has spoken at length about the job he and his front office have done in turning an aging Florida Featherheads squad whose average age was well over 30 into the young, dynamic powerhouse that it is today with finances to spare. Sano has apparently returned to his home in Neo-Tokyo where he says he has been tending to his garden and playing with his grandchildren. He has released no other statement since the post-game press conference after the team’s final game versus Havana over a week ago.

Here are the facts as we know them thus far: The “Streets Brawl” will be held a week after the final game of the PEC and will be conducted “in person” on the main stage at the Streets Casino in Las Vegas. Neither Hannahs nor Sano will be present – instead both will be at their homes and will be projected onto the main stage via 10 ft tall holograms. Streets will sit as judge of the proceedings and will set the agenda. While it has not yet been confirmed, word is that Streets is getting a large dais constructed with pyrotechnic capabilities. The final specs have not been released; however, it is said to have a built-in smoke machine, rap air horn, and some small fireworks that can all be deployed by Streets at his discretion. Further, there is reason to believe that Mr. Streets’ attire will include an anachronistic mix of US Supreme Court judge robes and a British Barrister’s wig and will carry a 32' giant gavel (pictured). Tickets are being sold directly on the Streets Casino website and the “debate” is slated for two hours, separated into thusly: 30 minutes for opening statements, 1 hour for debate, fifteen minutes for closing remarks, and fifteen minutes for Streets’ ruling.

While little is known about the outcome of this spectacle, some are saying that we could see an on-the-spot firing for one of the two men and their cohort. To say that there would be some legal issues with that approach would be an understatement, however Streets has never been one to worry too much about legal ramifications. One need not look further than his 2030 venture of building the world’s largest jet-propelled zipline between Las Vegas and Jacksonville to recognize that, while not probable, is definitely possible.

More as this story develops…

[Arroyos]

I'm looking forward to further news on this event, as scripted and contrived as most Vegas "entertainments." But wait! Things could get out of hand--it might live up to its name--we might actually have a street brawl!

[KenH]

If things devolve into an actual brawl, things have gone horribly wrong... Or horribly right, depending on your point of view.

[Sandgnats]

I can't wait to fly down to Vegas to watch this.